tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post8802647195816736723..comments2023-11-05T05:39:45.583-05:00Comments on Jason. For the love of God.: What's in a name?That Chick Over Therehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03066031548129806050noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-61941858333416859642008-04-04T20:52:00.000-05:002008-04-04T20:52:00.000-05:00Names are very important. I would say girl and bo...Names are very important. I would say girl and boy child clearly identify much more with your new last name. I wish them all the luck in changing it.Victoria Dehlbomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05535714825614314988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-21828649534543878252008-04-04T20:50:00.000-05:002008-04-04T20:50:00.000-05:00Boy and Girl Child know who their parents are, and...Boy and Girl Child know who their parents are, and that is the most important thing. Would it help to let go of the past if you all stuck together and went through the process of changing their names?Jenskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05368202166540468533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-14784071341803787092008-04-03T20:51:00.000-05:002008-04-03T20:51:00.000-05:00All of us have a different last name here. No one...All of us have a different last name here. No one gets is. I stopped trying to explain how it happened. I wish I could change it, but it won't ever happen.Triciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10715187918892679058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-55643504050251058582008-04-03T18:31:00.000-05:002008-04-03T18:31:00.000-05:00I read your blog all the time, but haven't comment...I read your blog all the time, but haven't commented before.<BR/>I, too, had a sperm donor for my oldest dd. He paid a whole three months of child support and the govt. could NEVER locate him, although I told them several times he was enlisted in the Army. <BR/>Whatever.<BR/>Now, I'm glad they never looked for him. <BR/>I'm happily married. Not long after I married dh, dd asked him to please adopt her. Of course he did, because he's a great father. He even worked overtime to pay the attorney. <BR/>I did not want to contact sperm donor either, but we did not have a choice. <BR/>And, he never showed up for the court hearing or anything. <BR/>Our court hearing was set for 9 a.m. and we left the court building at 9:15 a.m., with adoption papers signed, because sperm donor didn't show up and the Judge was convinced dh was a great Father. I was amazed at how quick and painless it was.<BR/>Just wanted you to know.<BR/>I was nervous about having the sperm donor contacted because his family is literally insane. They like burn each other's houses (trailers) down and some are in prison. But, he's never bothered us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-64051132645626396422008-04-03T13:05:00.000-05:002008-04-03T13:05:00.000-05:00Is a name all that important? It is if it is. Ge...Is a name all that important? It is if it is. Genius, I know.<BR/><BR/>I like my married name even if I'm not married to him anymore. It's my name now, it's my boys name and shoot, I've been Mrs. C for longer than I was Miss W. <BR/><BR/>My dearly beloved, has the most common name on the planet. Smith. He's not thrilled that I wont change my name. Even if it was cool and unusual and wonderful I don't think I'd change it. <BR/><BR/>So if it's important. Do it! <BR/><BR/>And my neighbor registered her son under her husbands name. It's not 'legal' but for school records it doesn't matter. They don't require all the doc's to change it. Here in CA anyway. You may want to look into that.Priscillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05010965208236909968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-41821139270828002352008-04-03T10:58:00.000-05:002008-04-03T10:58:00.000-05:00i am going to pass on some very 'eh hm' interestin...i am going to pass on some very 'eh hm' interesting information that 'came' to me via something my husband read. it was a real situation, where a lawyer suggested that this grandfather hire the 2 meanest, biggest guys he could find, and PERSUADE the deadbeat dad to hand over parental rights to his daughter, and then she could hand them over to him, the child would be on his insurance and she would get the surgery she so desperately needed. unfortunately, the little girl died before that was possible. but i think its a very important lesson. find out the rules in your state and his state if its different, and if all it takes is his signature, then send out those beefy guys. you could probably get the names of some retired cops from the police station, for instance. chat up some young family guy officer and see if he can persuade any of the beefier/meaner more persuasive ones out of retirement for a job, that includes oh say a lasagna, fixings and cake or something like that if they deliver. not bad, i dont think...Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04474928571871603804noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-40193770309376251692008-04-03T09:25:00.000-05:002008-04-03T09:25:00.000-05:00Only if it is important to you then it is importan...Only if it is important to you then it is important. I know that didnt make sense, so I will try and explain.<BR/><BR/>I loved my maiden last name. It meant a lot to me. It was unique. And it was an important name in our town. So...when I got married I became one of those girls. Yes...I became a hyphen. <BR/><BR/>Oh well. It works for me.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13856837995252523793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-72900493855596320382008-04-03T05:12:00.000-05:002008-04-03T05:12:00.000-05:00I think it is as important or unimportant as you w...I think it is as important or unimportant as you want it to be. I would say to most people it probably would be extremely important. I mean if it wasn't, why do people spend so much time, wondering what to name their children when they are born?Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02934698044637715137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-66609852923604524652008-04-03T00:51:00.000-05:002008-04-03T00:51:00.000-05:00last name? heck, i've had five total. my maiden ...last name? heck, i've had five total. my maiden name, 2 married names, then i legally changed my name to my MOM's maiden name (so we would match, and i didnt' want any of the other 3 ever again), then got married again even though i swore i wouldn't do it again. finally made the right decision so this is the name that will STAY. to the people who are important in my life, my name has always been the same - SUSAN. no matter what comes after it, i am still me... i applaud your kids' reasoning, though, which means i applaud your parenting! i always wished my kids WANTED to change their last names to match mine but they didn't. however i have all girls so i assume someday they will marry and it will change then, my oldest already has...<BR/><BR/>as the saying goes, "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" - your kids are awesome no matter what name they bear. i said it before and i'll say it again - just reading about them, i would take them into my home if they needed to be taken in, and that's saying a lot, i am so ready to have no kids...PaintedPromisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05771284709068251348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-35711250611798066142008-04-02T23:20:00.000-05:002008-04-02T23:20:00.000-05:00It's only important if it's important to the perso...It's only important if it's important to the person with the name, you know?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-16731416910864393712008-04-02T21:38:00.000-05:002008-04-02T21:38:00.000-05:00You were 5 in 1980?!?!?OMG I graduated college in ...You were 5 in 1980?!?!?<BR/><BR/>OMG I graduated college in 1981. In 1980? I was 22 years old. <BR/><BR/>Holy crap, I feel old now.<BR/><BR/>Thanks a frickin' lot!! LOLBandKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10111197063546332024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-45468745436801798072008-04-02T21:21:00.000-05:002008-04-02T21:21:00.000-05:00Names are hard for sure, I can see why you'd want ...Names are hard for sure, I can see why you'd want to change it, but I can see why you woudln't. Either way they are a part of an awesome family and they know that. <BR/><BR/>So what's a name anyway?SJINCOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08145386056147611628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-18623798386460949712008-04-02T18:47:00.000-05:002008-04-02T18:47:00.000-05:00Names are difficult. Sounds like you have some pre...Names are difficult. Sounds like you have some pretty awesome kids there. <BR/><BR/>I'm awarding you and Excellent blog award. You can check it out at my blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-72748756372424361102008-04-02T17:59:00.000-05:002008-04-02T17:59:00.000-05:00I was raised by my step-dad since I was 8.But I st...I was raised by my step-dad since I was 8.<BR/>But I still have my father's last name.<BR/>And I'm okay with that.<BR/><BR/>Sparing you all the details.....<BR/><BR/>With the power of my heavenly Father, I am breaking the cycle and making my last name one to be proud of.<BR/><BR/>You all are family. Regardless of some legal document, your kids know who their "real" parents are.<BR/><BR/>Blessings to you.Alpha Dudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16073731050596870101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-30177089241691442602008-04-02T17:48:00.000-05:002008-04-02T17:48:00.000-05:00We have 3 different last names in our house (I use...We have 3 different last names in our house (I use my maiden name, the 2 oldest have their dads, the 2 little ones have William's) and sometimes it can get confusing! <BR/><BR/>For me, personally, my name is important. I had a hard time changing it when I got married to number 1 and there was a big fight about it. I always hated his last name because a)it's a stupid name and b)it wasn't even his. His step father never legally adopted him because they didn't want to lose the orphan benefits! <BR/><BR/>I do think, however, that he would have eventually changed it to his step dad's. After all this was the man who raised him. <BR/><BR/>I guess what I should have just said without all the crap is that I think your name is important. I think it defines who you are. And if your kids want to be Ourlastname now or at 18 because they feel they are the children of you and Jason not you and sperm donor then I think that is great.Emma in Canadahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17058142553612290594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-64169681364252850192008-04-02T17:47:00.000-05:002008-04-02T17:47:00.000-05:00I think it's wonderful that BC & GC are cool with ...I think it's wonderful that BC & GC are cool with changing their names when they're older (to avoid contact with sperm donor now). They seem like very level headed kids. And it's great they'll be able to graduate under your last name!<BR/><BR/>I think a name is important. But that's just me:). xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-28199290110094550752008-04-02T16:53:00.000-05:002008-04-02T16:53:00.000-05:00If BC and GC don't have a problem with it then I s...If BC and GC don't have a problem with it then I say keep with the plan and change it when they are 18. If it bothers them and they really want it changed then I say its worth it to contact the ass hat and have it changed, just make sure they really want it changed. There is no point in stirring the pot of it isn't a big deal.Alliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08707434221124126774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-56517891009570630552008-04-02T14:22:00.000-05:002008-04-02T14:22:00.000-05:00I think names are very important and if there is a...I think names are very important and if there is anyway that you can change their names without having contact with you know who, then go for it. Of course, I've never had to deal with this before because the kids have Brian's last name and so do I, but their birth mom and stepbrother have different last names. It's nice to be able to call the school and say this is Mrs. (...), Brad (...)'s mom and not a different last name. If changing it now doesn't work, then like you said, they could always change it when they are 18.Patiently waitinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11550095954657005335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-2638312375296000292008-04-02T14:15:00.000-05:002008-04-02T14:15:00.000-05:00wow... I didn't know you had to contact the sperm ...wow... I didn't know you had to contact the sperm donor. I didn't have to when I changed my last name from sperm donor's to step father number one, or when I changed it back to my mom's maiden name... but I live in Canada so there must be different rules. I had no idea where sperm donor was anyway so it would have been impossible to contact him!Tarasviewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04750633944607986537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-5918510060582632782008-04-02T14:02:00.000-05:002008-04-02T14:02:00.000-05:00I was raised with a different last name and my dau...I was raised with a different last name and my daughter is being raised that way now.<BR/><BR/>If you ever want to talk about it... You know where to find me. <BR/><BR/>:)Mrs. Boomshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07327877419678061633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-30896798891952503092008-04-02T12:57:00.000-05:002008-04-02T12:57:00.000-05:00When I was kid, my mom, brother and I all had diff...When I was kid, my mom, brother and I all had different last names. No joke. (My mom has been married a lot) And, it never really bothered me, most people didn't know my real dad, and they just knew the man of the hour as my "dad" and it was okay. I never thought of it as a big deal. <BR/><BR/>But, if they want to change their names, that is great. <BR/><BR/>And, yes, I think that teachers are more accepting nowadays, I went by a different last name for an entire year and the teachers didn't care. <BR/><BR/>:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-72527553062938814512008-04-02T12:56:00.000-05:002008-04-02T12:56:00.000-05:00Now I've got Romeo and Juliet in my head. "What's...Now I've got Romeo and Juliet in my head. "What's in a name?" They know who they really belong to and if it would be more detrimental than beneficial to contact sperm donor then it's probaly not a good idea. I know how you feel, I have never had the same last name as my son. When he was born I was engaged to my sperm donor and gave him not only his last name, but his middle name is sperm donors first name. UGH!!! And now that sperm donor is in prison and has cruised in and out of my boy child's life, I wish I would have given him my name. But now I'm married and we would have different names now...not sure what the right thing to do is in these situations. But for now, he'll be Jana's Boy Child Jailbirds Last name.Janahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17670294163903350993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-88569134426628397522008-04-02T12:52:00.000-05:002008-04-02T12:52:00.000-05:00i kept my ex's name when i got divorced as well fo...i kept my ex's name when i got divorced as well for the exact reason's that you did. I figured if I ever got remarried the kids would be older and understand more then as opposed to not understand at ages 3 and 1.<BR/><BR/>Of course, they are 11 and 8 and firmly believe that i will always share their last name... love how they have faith that i will remarry...<BR/><BR/>there's nothing in a last name. It means nothing. However, pray about it. IS there a statue for abandonment in TN or NC? I think there is in VA so you may not need to contact the sperm donor. Or maybe you're smart and already checked into all of this.<BR/><BR/>However, I know that if I were a child, and I had a crappy sperm donor, I wouldn't want his last name either.Heather {Desperately Seeking Sanity}https://www.blogger.com/profile/00243388362771376897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-1562655861138293222008-04-02T12:10:00.000-05:002008-04-02T12:10:00.000-05:00I think blended families are so normal now, no one...I think blended families are so normal now, no one bats an eyelash when children have different names from their parents. <BR/><BR/>In this case, I can see their strong desire to change it.<BR/><BR/>Is there a way you can get a lawyer to mediate and handle Douche Nugget's portion of it, so you and your family don't have to have contact?AndreAnnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12102680027953333309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37540506.post-15122052261472319192008-04-02T12:06:00.000-05:002008-04-02T12:06:00.000-05:00When I was 14, my biological father gave up his ri...When I was 14, my biological father gave up his rights to me and my brother and my (real) dad (my mother's 2nd husband who I refuse to call my step-dad) adopted us. So, I changed my name one month shy of my 15th birthday.<BR/><BR/>It was VERY important to me to change it. For one, it felt like it loosened any hold or ties to the side of the family I knew and cared nothing about. For another, it made ME feel like we were the "whole" family that we were. Also, my mom and dad had a daughter and I HATED having a different last name than my sister.<BR/><BR/>I got married at 27, changing my name again. So, here I am, at 31, on my 3rd last name! I wouldn't have had it any other way.Robynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06669859538951068032noreply@blogger.com