Last night, the boy child was gazing with wonder and delight at the Christmas tree.
Okay, really, he was counting presents.
I guess this is something I did as a child. Honestly, I don't remember much about my childhood. I have a bit of a mental block. But I imagine since I was one of four children and money was, well, we'll say tight, I was in to making sure I got my fair share. Maybe I was all above that or whatever, but I kind of doubt it.
Anyway, at one point he said, in a very depressed way, "Mom! Why are there no presents for you?"
To which I replied, "I've been bad this year."
The real answer is, "Because my husband is responsible for such things. Therefore, it is not even remotely conceivable that they could be done, today, December 3rd. Talk me to on December 22nd. We'll see how things are going then."
That's quite a speech for me to give an 8 year old though. I'll just stick with letting him think I'm bad.
I don't particularly enjoy shopping, but I'm quite good at it. I, for the most part, give very good presents. Even when I've been particularly poor, I've made sure that people get things that make them happy in their hearts.
I do all the shopping except for myself. I just cannot bring myself to purchase gifts and wrap them and put my own name on them. Although, frankly, it would be a heck of a lot easier.
My beloved is not the best gift giver. He's an amazing shopper, primarily because he's such a freaking girl. I've never in my life met a man who tries on the SAME PAIR OF PANTS in four different colors and stands there looking in the mirror for 35 minutes going, "Well how do they look if I lean forward like this?" Okay, because seriously? In what situation, work or casual, would you ever be required to lean in such a manner? I would seriously like to know. Shopping with him is like a slow death. Most women would probably be really happy if their husband said, "Let's go to the outlet malls!" I have to take my medication. Because after about 20 minutes, I want to shoot him. And I really love him and I'm sure shooting him is against the law in this state.
I have also given him an extremely detailed list of gifts that I would like to receive. I also have a long list on Amazon.com which I have referred him to. I don't know how much easier I can make this.
I'm seriously just hoping to not have a repeat of the year that he gave me windshield wiper blades for my birthday (October) and then hubcaps for Christmas. When I said I wanted something sparkly, that's not what I meant.
It's all about being specific.
We'll see how he does.