I thought since I'm going to be all heavy in my post today, I might as well try to put a positive spin on it in my Title.
Did it work? No? Not so much? I'm sorry.
I've had a series of bad days lately. A long, long series. I kept telling myself that I'm in a funk and then I realized, I'm actually depressed. I hate being depressed. Even the word depressed just sucks monkey butt.
I'm depressed because:
1) I'm still a fatty la-la.
2) My sister lost one of her babies and it broke her heart and I love her so much that it broke my heart too (not even to get into how I personally felt about the whole thing).
3) My job is full of insane people.
4) I worry almost constantly about my dad and there is just nothing I can do about it.
5) The insane people at my job want to draw me into their insanity.
6) I am not interested in their insanity.
7) I am stuck, stuck, stuck in writing my book. I just cannot get past the point that I'm at and it makes me feel anxious and irritated.
8) A beloved friend of mine has breast cancer and I feel like I haven't done anything to help her.
9) I feel like I suck as a friend, period lately.
10) My mothering skills are also questionable.
11) I'm tired, unmotivated, scared, and sad.
12) My husband works 70 hours a week...I feel like I never see him and I really, really miss him.
13) I think my dog has a cold and doesn't even have words to tell me.
14) Even though I have given up on having another child, I'm pissed as hell that I'm infertile.
15) My neighbors are douchehats.
16) I want so desperately to "fix" the relationship with Jason's family and I can't get it through my thick skull that no matter what I do and no matter what I say and no matter how much I want it, THEY DON'T WANT IT.
I'm trying hard to think of positive things. I do count my blessings. I thank God for my beautiful
family, I thank God for my health, I thank God for the fact that I have a job and have money to pay my bills. I thank God that my sister's surviving baby's heart looks really good and that my precious little niece is going to make things feel better and brighter.
I'm not looking for advice, really. Mostly I'm just venting.
Also? Proving that I'm so not funny all the time.