My adulthood should be revoked.

Do you ever get just completely bogged down with all the things you want to do?

I do. Nearly every single day.

I have these really huge ideas, see? And they all seem to come to me at one time and I get really excited and overwhelmed and it becomes just completely ridiculous.

As I’ve mentioned, we’ve been talking about moving for a while now. Okay, almost as long as we’ve lived here actually. But we just haven’t done it, for about a zillion reasons, none of which are valid or make much sense. It’s always really stupid reasons and we always talk ourselves out of things with lame-o excuses like, “Well, we don’t know if the housing market is good now.” As though we have any ability whatsoever to gauge such things.

Anyway, I was looking at the Sunday paper and came across the real estate section. I half-heartedly browsed it and came upon a house that was an OH-MY-SWEET-LORD kind of price. It was a foreclosure apparently, with 2090 square feet, a freaking INGROUND pool, a flat, fenced in backyard, and various other things that made me clutch my chest and shout, “OH MY FREAKING COW, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT A GOOD PRICE THIS IS!?”

So Jason says, “Do you want to buy it?”

We haven’t even LOOKED at this house yet, nor do we have any idea where it’s physically located. But this is how we roll.

So I said that before committing to purchase this property, perhaps we should find out where it is. And so I did an internet search and it wasn’t where I wanted to be.

But I did find OTHER properties which were closer to where I wanted to be.

So we went and looked at them.

And then we got home and I decided it’s really been some time since we’ve taken a vacation (wait…have we ever taken a vacation?) and wouldn’t it be fun if we could all go to the Tennessee Aquarium? Because I saw a commercial for the Tennessee Aquarium and it looked like so much fun! So I started looking up the information online about that.

And while I was looking I decided that wouldn’t it be cool if we could go to Las Vegas and see that Beatles show? The one that I keep seeing the commercials about (and the one that my husband has mentioned, no less than twenty times, how much he’d like to see)? So I looked up flight information.

Then, since I was on a roll, I thought about how fun it would be if we could all go to Disney World when the kids are on Fall Break (and by the way, what the crap is “Fall Break” about? We didn’t get Fall Break when I was in school!), so I looked up pricing on that. Because, you know, my children are freaking deprived! They are nine years old and have never been to Disney freaking World and soon they are going to be out of the house and not love me anymore and I will have NEVER TAKEN THEM TO DISNEYWORLD! I am a horrible mother!

Then, because I’m such a horrible mother, I started thinking about summer camps and after-school programs. And I decided that maybe I would put my kids in this Taekwondo after-school program? Because the after-school program they are in now blows goats? So I had to look up the information on that too.

So within a few hours, I had us set up to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in housing, vacations, and childcare.

Today I’m absolutely sick of all of it and don’t want to think about it anymore.

I do things like this, all the time. All. The. Time.

Also? I ate popcorn for breakfast. Because nothing else sounded good.

Also? My co-worker came and gave me his prescription antihistamines and I totally took one without even asking any questions whatsoever.

And then? I said something along the lines of, “Oh my God, we are completely hosed.” Really, really loudly. And also, I might have used the f-word in some portion of that statement. In front of, guess who? The Project Manager. Because just saying it in front of co-workers would not be enough humiliation, I have to make a complete asshat of myself in front of the really important co-workers.

I’m surprised I’m allowed to walk around without supervision.