Every day I like to listen to the traffic reports on my way into to work to see how many accidents there have been.
Notice I didn’t say “if there have been any accidents”. Because there is no “if” involved. There will be accidents.
Usually the traffic reports are like this:
We’ve got an accident with injuries on Interstate 40 at exit 379, a two car accident on I’ll-kill-ya highway, possible injuries, and a school bus in the ditch off of Fishkill Road. Save money on your car insurance by calling Direct!
Yeah. Car insurance companies always seem to sponsor the traffic reports. That’s clever marketing.
I wish there was some truth in the traffic reports and they would say things like,
Okay, on Interstate 40 going East near exit 319, we’ve got some moron in a Gray Nissan who is putting on her make-up while driving. Putting on her make-up people! So she’s, you know, swerving all over the road and such, so you might want to avoid her.
On Interstate 40 West, we’ve got a State Trooper in the furthest left hand lane. You totally can’t miss him as he is completely holding up traffic by driving five miles under the speed limit, and for some reason everyone is afraid to pass him doing the real, actual speed limit. Looks like a lot of folks are cursing him under their breath though, so you might want to watch for that massive amount of anger that seems to be brewing, as it might blow up.
And…looks like directly in front of the middle school we have a 200 year old man who is, apparently, still somewhat living and attempting to drive a car. Clearly, he does not have anywhere to be at 7am so he’s going to be pretty much holding up everyone who does, really, actually have somewhere to be. Note the large woman in the Cadillac Escalade who is yelling at him, “GOOD GOD GET OFF THE FREAKING ROAD!” You might want to take an alternate route to avoid Grandpa Slowpants.
Save money on your car insurance by not driving like a complete idiot! It doesn’t matter what company you chose if you don’t behave like a tool!
That will so never happen.