Friday, June 01, 2007

You know you wish you were me.

Before 10am I managed to:

1) Set off my car alarm.
2) Twice.
3) Use the f-word.
4) Twice.
5) In front of my son. Oops.
6) Have a long conversation regarding butt-plugs.
7) Which was, of course, overheard by my project manager.
8) Get a big piece of carrot stuck in-between my front teeth (I had carrots for breakfast. Shut up.)
9) Remark loudly, "I'm a slave to the Wang!"
10) Which was, of course, overhead by my project manager. Who turned red.
11) Remark loudly to a co-worker with a sunburn, "I guess that really chaps your ass!"
12) Which was not overheard by the project manager, but was overheard by the 200 year old man we have as our accountant.
13) Who now thinks I'm hot and sexy.
14) Accidentally call my own house.
15) Left a message for a work colleague on my own house's answering machine.
16) Get yellow highlighter all over my ear, my arm, and my left boob.


So. How's your day going?

24 comments:

frannie said...

I still wish I were you!

Rachel said...

How tha hell did you manange #16?? We need details on this one!

wopalockapino said...

You make me chuckle!

I have not done a thing wrong today. My children have. I am thinking about actually blogging it tonight. I want to hear more about the butt plugs.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Not as fun as yours that's for sure...

Have a wonderful boob-highlighted weekend.

Bethany said...

Actually worse than yours. I'm just waiting for the highlighter to happen.

Kellie said...

Details for #16 are a must!!

I'm laughing...out loud...at everything on your list. Especially the being a salve to the wang...

Angie said...

I too, am mildly perplexed by said highlighted boob.

Do explain.

my4kids said...

Compaired to your morning not to bad! But a normal day for me involves spilling coffee down my shirt and marking all over myself with whatever pen is in my hand. Usually tripping over my own feet thus one of the reasons for constantly having coffee down my front (or whatever beverage I'm carrying) Its not unusual for people to tease me asking if I've spiked whatever I'm drinking.

Shanilie said...

Wow, what a day lol. Lets hope you have a better weekend. It sounds an awful lot like some of my days it's called 'foot-in-mouth-disease' and usually everyone hears and normally everyone around is there to catch it :)

nailgirl said...

Lol!

Kimberly said...

How sweet of you to sacrifice your dignity for the sake of making our days look infinitely better. You're too sweet!

Anonymous said...

Kimberly- I'm generous like that!

Okay, so in case you haven't figured it out, I'm kind of animated when I talk. I talk with my hands a lot. I gesture. A LOT.

I probably shouldn't do that while holding a highlighter. I'm just saying.

I got it on my ear when I, yes, I'm not kidding, scratched my ear with it. I forgot the top was off.

I got it on my boob when I left it open on my desk and leaned over. I'm kind of chesty and also a slouch today, thus, my boobs were resting on my desk.

The end.

Love,
That Chick who is having trouble signing in

Kelly M said...

LOL -- how does one get highlighter on their ear?? LOL I so hope your weeked goes better than today!! maybe you should just relax and take it easy this weekend..what do you think??

EE said...

highlighter over or under your clothing???

Amira said...

And I thought I was having problems. :)

Know your pain is not in vain. You make tons of people laugh.

yerdoingitwrong said...

Sounds like a typical day of mine. You would fit in well at my workplace!! =)

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

I'm not so sure I want to know how you accomplished #16.

At least you had a day worth writting about.

The biggest thing that happened to me was getting upset that none of the four teenagers in the house saved any ice cream for me!

Joy T. said...

Well. I tripped going UP the stairs. But other than that. Day's goin good thanks.

Summer said...

made me laugh. How did you get yellow highlighter all over yourself. i mean, i get it all over it all over my fingers but never on my clothes

mAsOn & tErrI's mOm said...

Numbers 1-8 are a daily thing around here...my project manager in this case would have to be my hubbby.

But you must have a laid back pro. man. to not care that your giving shout outs to the "wang".

But wth...did you fall asleep with the highlighter? That is a classic Elizabeth moment!! Check your legs there might be some remnants of highlighters there too!!

Jocelyn said...

Carrots for breakfast. I get that. They are filling and low in points. I can eat an entire cantaloupe for breakfast, btw, and still be hungry. If I eat an entire pizza for breakfast, it starts to lessen the hunger.

Shanilie said...

Oh, BTW, I just wanted to let you know that I am going to try and do the meme that you did in your last post. Looks like a lot of fun. Hopefully I will have it posted by this evening.

Catwoman said...

I tried to drive with my parking brake on.

And my day wouldn't be complete without getting highlighter on some uncomprehensible body part. That's why you and I are soul mates or twins separated at birth.

Amy W said...

How in the hell did you manage the last one?