Before 10am I managed to:
1) Set off my car alarm.
3) Use the f-word.
5) In front of my son. Oops.
6) Have a long conversation regarding butt-plugs.
7) Which was, of course, overheard by my project manager.
8) Get a big piece of carrot stuck in-between my front teeth (I had carrots for breakfast. Shut up.)
9) Remark loudly, "I'm a slave to the Wang!"
10) Which was, of course, overhead by my project manager. Who turned red.
11) Remark loudly to a co-worker with a sunburn, "I guess that really chaps your ass!"
12) Which was not overheard by the project manager, but was overheard by the 200 year old man we have as our accountant.
13) Who now thinks I'm hot and sexy.
14) Accidentally call my own house.
15) Left a message for a work colleague on my own house's answering machine.
16) Get yellow highlighter all over my ear, my arm, and my left boob.
So. How's your day going?