In an effort to better myself and stop saying so many damn curse words, I have instituted a "cursing jar" in my office. Except I call it a "cussin' jar". Because I live in East Tennessee.
I am charging myself a fine every time I curse. The fine is 25 cents.
It is currently 8:26am. There is a total of six dollars in the jar.
Also? An IOU for $12.
Additionally? I think I really need to rethink this plan. Because I'm paying myself. And frankly? That just motivates me to curse more. Because I really need a new pair of capri pants.
Maybe I should give myself a quarter every time I don't say a curse word. Like when Moron #12 that I work with comes in and says something really stupid and I don't say, "You are a damn waste of sperm!" and instead say, "You are like a monkey flinging poo at the zoo." He'd probably get the point anyway, right?
I don't know. I really want those capri pants.