You know who I admire?
Step-parents. And people who co-parent. And don’t, you know, shoot each other in the face.
Because? That’s really hard to do.
Last night I was talking to my sister on the phone and I happened to mention something about my ex-husband (I really can’t remember how that subject even came up…the conversation was so freaking hilarious what with the Wilfred Brimley and diabetes references. Long story) and I felt the anger and bile rise up in me like you would not believe.
I’ve long believed that my ex-husband leaving me alone has been the best thing he could ever do for me, although I also believe that he has no idea how much of a favor that he’s actually doing me and probably still thinks that I sit around crying every night because I miss him so much.
Excuse me. I just had to vomit in my trashcan.
Anyway, I read a few blogs of women who are step-mothers and I have to say, I really admire them. Some of them have better relationships with their egg donors than others. Some of them? I honestly don’t know how they haven’t shot the birth mother in the face. But I admire all of them.
I read blogs of women who are dealing with ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends too, of course. I sometimes feel bad when I do, because clearly I am far too immature to be able to handle that kind of stuff. Because the thought of having to deal with my ex-husband on a regular basis makes me want to stuff my fingers in my ears and scream, “Camille!”
Or, you know, whatever.
I guess these women make me think about past fears. One of my main, main fears was that my ex-husband would marry the woman he cheated with. And I would have to be all like, “This is my kid’s step-mother. I’mawhorewithaninnerthightattoo. She sucks.”
Which would, clearly, be a loss of my testimony.
But to my knowledge, he’s not married anyone else. Not that he has anything to do with the kids anyway, so it’s kind of a moot point. But it used to be this huge, huge fear.
I applaud all of you who do it with grace and class. You are far, far better than I.