Monday, October 15, 2007

Go Chickie...it's your birthday...

Last night:

Girl Child: Mom? How old WILL you be tomorrow?
Boy Child: Girl Child! You don’t ask a LADY how old she’ll be!
Girl Child: It’s not a LADY. It’s MOM!
Boy Child: She has a vagina, so she’s a lady!
Me: Guys. Stop talking about my lady parts. I’ll be thirty-two.
Girl Child, looking wide-eyed and horrified: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.
Boy Child, kicking Girl Child under the table: That’s NOT old!
Girl Child, quickly: No! Not old! Not old at all! It’s not like you are 100!

Which was better than what happened last year.

At Food City, buying myself a birthday cake, October 15th, 2006:

Boy Child, to cashier: It’s our mom’s birthday!
Girl Child, to cashier: She’s thirty-one!
Boy Child, to cashier: Our mom is thirty-one years old!
Girl Child, sings: Thirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty-one! Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirty-one!
Cashier, who is approximately fifteen: Thirty-one, huh?
Me: Yep.
Cashier: So, is your biological clock running out or what?

Oh. My. Bob. INAPPROPRIATE!

I did NOT say, “Actually, my ovaries dried up and wizened out when I was approximately twenty-four years old, but THANKS EVER SO MUCH for bringing that up and once again making me feel like an inadequate shrew.”

Instead I just smiled.

And went home.

And ate cake.

That’s how birthdays go when you are over the age of ten, right?

28 comments:

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday, Youngun from one who turned 40 a month ago.....

Kellie said...

Happy Birthday :) 32? So not old. Maybe when I was 12, it was old. Now? As I approach 30? So not old :)

Sabrina said...

LOL. You are so young! 32 isn't old..it's the new 16.

Adventures in Baby Fat said...

Thirty-two? Not so old. If 50 is the new 30, and 40 is the new 20, then 30 is the new 10?

Feel free to act like your average 10-year-old today. Sounds like fun to me, in hindsight, of course. Being 10 and around snotty girls in school? Not so fun. But you can wow them all by being far more superior because you have boobs and your period.

Happy birthday!!

Bethany said...

I hope you have a Wonderfully Happy Birthday... Just think DISNEY!

Love ya,
-Sista-Boo's Bethany

Morgan Leigh said...

happy birthday to you.

happy birthday to you.


happy birthday to CHHHHIIIICKK!

happy birthday to YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!

and many more....

Doug said...

Happy Birthday!

As last weekend was my 20th college reunion, I can most certainly say.. you are not old. When you're walking around a college campus and your brain is whipsawing between 'Hey, they're kinda hot' and 'That could be my child' with a healthy dose of 'holy crap, that's what kids are wearing these days?' you definitely start to feel old.

In another decade you will finally reach the point where, for one year, your age will be the answer to life, the universe and everything. This will not actually provide you any insight into said answer, but it's a nice way of displaying how awesome getting older can be.

Shari said...

I have found that once you hit 30 you have to stop having feelings. People will ALWAYS go in for the old comments.

Happy Birthday Chick!!!!

Amy W said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I am right behind you....

Catwoman said...

I am exactly one month and four days older than you.

And I? Am not old. Because there's a 13-year old boy inside of me.

I'm pretty sure you have his twin trapped in you, so we're good.

Kimberly said...

Happy Happy Birthday Chickie dear!
Happy days will come to you all year!
If a had a wish then it would be...
a happy happy birthday to you from me!

Yup. Decided to revel in my innate dorkiness today. Why fight it?

Beckie said...

Oh my hellfry hanna that is funny!

Happy Birthday to you! You don't want to hear me sing - think of it as my gift to you that you DON'T have to hear me sing.

Angie said...

I would sing to you if you'd like. But, I'll refrain.

Happy Birthday, my dear!!! Your kids are amazing. . .and they never cease to make me crack up.

How long until Disney World. . .?

(hee hee)

audrey said...

Happy Birthday!!!

I think birthdays get lamer and lamer once all the "now I can [buy booze/drive/vote]" milestones have past. Next year I'll be 25, which means 2 things: 1. I will be able to rent a car. 2. I will have no more "now I can ______" milestones to look forward to. At least until 55 when I can get a senior discount. But that is not a milestone to look forward to, in my opinion. I'm thinking I'll be livin' it up big next year. Maybe rent a really fancy car and drive it around for the day. Just because I CAN.

Even though there is no new thing you get to do at 32, that certainly does not mean you're old. Hell, you've only been able to rent a car for 7 years (unless the law is different in other states? I don't know) -- how can you be old?

Anyway, happy birthday! I hope it's completely fabulous!

stepmomof2 said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHICK!!!!

Stephanette said...

Happy Birthday, Chick!

If it makes you feel any better...Cajun Man turn 30 in four days and he's been freaking out about it for approximately six months.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Happy birthday gorgeous!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I'm telling you, put those kids in stand up comedy. I seriously laughed so loudly, I woke sleeping hubby up. And, as he doesn't get blogging, he was NOT amused. Happy b-day, Chick! 32 is the new 17. Or so I'm told.

~Sheryl said...

Happy Birthday Libra chick! Since I turned 44 two weeks ago, I can assure you that 32 isn't old.

frannie said...

I turned 32 in January.

happy birthday, Beautiful!

Thea said...

Well, Happy Birthday to you!

That's all I've got.

BS said...

If 50 is the new 30, I just turned 30 this year! Have a wonderful birthday! O.M.G - I just realized that my oldest son is only a year younger than you !!

Joy T. said...

Absolutely. And after the age of 40...we get two cakes and eat them. Or at least that's what I did. I don't know. A huge Happy Birthday to you!

my4kids said...

Happy Birthday!! We are almost the same age. I will be 32 in January.

Emma in Canada said...

Well, to be honest with you I am 33 (almost 34!) and I still don't trust people over the age of 30. You'd think I was a teenage hippy or something. Which I am so not.

But happy birthday anyway!

Blue Tissue Box said...

Happy Birthday!! :)

Real Life in South Carolina said...

Happy Belated Birthday. I'm right behind you at 30. And my kids tried to convince me that I wasn't old while looking at me sympathetically. You gotta love how hard they try!

SJ said...

I turn 32 in like 9 days...or something like that!

WOOOOT!