Don't, under any circumstances:
1) Get hyped up on Diet Pepsi
2) Get really irritated at four hundred things
3) March down the hill
4) Flip open several doors, dramatically
5) Announce to the Facility Manager and everyone else within earshot,
"BY GOD I'M GOING ON VACATION AND I'M HERE TO STRAIGHTEN SOME ASSES OUT."
"MY DOG, WHO IS DEAD, CAN DO A BETTER JOB THAN HE CAN!"
While wearing a t-shirt that says, in pink, glittery letters:
I'm a Girl Scout Volunteer!
Trust me on this one.
Edited to add:
Yes. I really did this.