Saturday, December 29, 2007

So. How'd I do?

Last year around this time I made some "resolutions" that I prefer to refer to as goals. Because goals is just nicer. Also? Resolutions imply that I might HAVE to do all this crap, and frankly, I don't. I just maybe kinda of want to, unless there is something good on t.v.

But I hadn't thought about them in a very long time, so I decided I would revisit it so we could all get a good laugh at me for even trying.

1) I want to be a better wife.

Okay, I'm giving myself a pass on this one. I'm a good wife.

I am really, really, REALLY not a perfect wife. And I think most people in my life, except a few who are very close to me, would be surprised to know that my marriage was in real trouble earlier this year. Real, real, really bad trouble. I was really scared at one point that we wouldn't make it. Things were just going really badly for us and there was a lot of anger on both sides.

But we stuck it out. We worked it out and our marriage is fan-freaking-tastic.

So I just kind of think, in the immortal words of Nick Lachey, "There are going to be bad moments. But when you are in it for fifty-five years, are you going to look back on one or two shit years? Or eight shit years? What about the other forty-seven?"

That Nick. He is so wise.

2) I want to work on my forgiveness skills.

No. No. I still suck at this.

3) Finish my novel.

Another for the land-o-suck.

To be fair to me, losing my hard drive earlier this year really screwed me. To be even more fair, I suck at writing novels, and that's my main problem.

4) Stop working so many jobs.

I've gotten fairly good at saying, "Screw you guys, I'm going home" but I could be much better.

Also, I've GOT TO STOP VOLUNTEERING SO MUCH. I mean, I believe the children are our future or whatever the crap, but still. Good Lord. Somebody else is going to have to help me out.

5) Walk five hundred miles.


So overall, I both suck and blow.

I've thought long and hard about my goals for next year and have been conflicted. I still want to be a better wife, because even though I think I'm a good wife, I could be better. I want to have an attitude of forgiveness, but frankly, that would be a lot easier if people weren't such peeholes all the time. I'd love to finish my novel, but really? I'm not good at novel writing. I have the attention span of a smashed gnat caught in the fur of an epileptic cat. I'd love to get another job and stop working so much. Believe me, I'm trying. I'm TRYING. And walking five hundred miles isn't as much of a goal as just being healthier and getting some kind of regular exercise.

So I don't know.

The only thing I know, for sure, that I want to publicly put out as a goal:

I want to publish something.

I don't care if it's a letter to the editor. I don't care if it's a corn report in the Amish times. I don't care if it's a tiny piece for our community rag (seven of it's ten pages? Local high school football). I want to see my stupid name in print.

So that will be my goal. I guess.

And I fail at that? Well, I don't want to think about it.


Robyn said...

I never make resolutions because I fail at every single one I make. So I make resolutions each year to not make resolutions but in reality, isn't not making a resolution actually MAKING a resolution. Well, at least I'm good at keeping that resolution!

I think that becoming a better wife is a life long thing and not something you can do in a years time. From what I have just recently started reading, I think you are a great wife and mother!

The smashed gnat thing...too....farking..funny for words. I spit coke out my nose. And not that white powder stuff, the drink. Cuz..Drugs are bad MMkay??

frannie said...

one of my resolutions last year was be a better wife, too! we are so alike!

SJ said...

Hmm, I must dig up my list of resolutions and re-visit them. I've been thinking a lot about them with the new year approaching and man, there is SO MUCH that I want to do - better, and just in general. Life is tough. Goals are tough. Hell, being human is tough.

Here's to your goal - I have a feeling that you will be published in 2008!

Kimberly said...

I'm tempted to start up a paper just so I can publish you. Seriously.

nailgirl said...

I haven't finished my novel either, and that better wife thing...... Not gonna happen anytime soon. I would have to scrape the tires marks off my ass first since since I was thrown under the bus.

nailgirl said...
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CPA Mom said...

I haven't made resolutions in years because frankly, I suck at them. This year, I am resolving to lose weight once and for all "Finish what I started for once" If you still want to walk 500 lbs, you could join us (

I am Trish Marie said...

New Year's resolution time, huh? See, I shouldn't even bother with them. I always set goals that I know I will meet, so I don't feel like a loser when a full year goes by without marking anything off of my list. I think that is cheating. But I like it that way!

And um, I too think you should get something published. Hell, obviously I like the way you write, since I read your blog daily!

Anonymous said...

I set "goals" each year and each year, I get a big fat "F" stamped on my forehead. I suck at goals.

If someone doesn't publish something you write, well....they suck donkey balls. You are FANTASTIC. Obviously--given all of us that come here and tell you so :)

Lisa said...

I have suggested this before. A memoir. Is what you are writing here. On this blog. For free. I imagine if you go back to the beginning of your crazy life (or even at the beginning of your kid's lives...or even your life with Jason) and write little stories in chapter form, your memoir would be published. And if promoted properly, HUGELY successful. (No thanks to me, of course, because I will be checking it out of the library, but perhaps I will score a free copy for my continued harping upon you to write the damn thing in the first place.)

mom 2 3 said...

Love you, not sure how I found you but sure glad I did! I resolve to take my medication every day! A little less crazy in our world is a good thing. HA!!

Angie said...

Okay. .. I love your goals. But here's where it sucks to be me. . .you could get something published. And, it might be in a paper that *I* read. But, since I only know JASON'S name, i'd never recognize your writing as YOU.


Krissie said...

I also like the idea of a memoir for you. I have spent the last few days reading about the last year of your life and have been thoroughly entertained.

Now I'm wishing I made resolutions last year, just so I could remember who I was. Mine will be public this year!

Lizarita said...

Remember this: Everyday when you hit that "publish now" button after writing something that has made me laugh so hard, diet coke comes shooting out of my nose, you have accomplished something. xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

I think that is an amazing goal for you! good luck!

AndreAnna said...

"People are peeholes" made me laugh out loud. They really are. :)

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

I'm not doing any New Year's Resolutions. But if I were? It would be to lose some weight off my ever-expanding ass.

I FINALLY Whored My Loot:) - woo hoooo - that was fun;)!

Wenderina said...

For the record, I sent you my email about a blog book that was published BEFORE his post. We must be psychically linked today. (or psychotically?)

my4kids said...

I suck at resolutions so I gave up on making them awhile ago.
I hope you do succeed in this years I would love to see you published!

Rachel said...

I would totally read your corn report.

Edie said...

You CAN do it!