Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I'm not going to write you a love song.

My children and the two hundred commercials I have seen for Vermont Teddy Bears recently have reminded me that Valentine's day is upon us.

Yay.


I don't really "do" Valentine's day, and that's okay. Other people like it and get chocolate and sexy things and flowers and stuff. And that's okay too. I just don't care about it.

Someone I know is cheating on their wife, which is sort of what prompted my post from yesterday. I was thinking about this person and his sorry ass on my way home from work.

I wasn't really thinking about HIM necessarily. Mostly, and I guess this is pretty telling about me, I was confused about how anyone has the time, energy, and desire to cheat on anyone else.

See, I love my husband.


It is exhausting to love my husband.


I don't think it's him, either. I really don't. Maybe I'm a hugely selfish jerk, but it is so hard to be thoughtful of someone else all the time. Really? When I come home? I want to sit on my butt and watch reruns of Law and Order. I want to pop a bag of popcorn and eat it for dinner. I want to spend hours on the computer and not do the dishes.

You know what I do when I come home?

Well, it's not any of that. It's things like fixing dinner and thinking about where I can buy Jason socks for his birthday. And neither one of those things is any fun, at all.

But I love him. So I do these things.

I cannot imagine voluntarily making another man dinner. Or buying him socks or shaving his back or listening to him sing things like, "You are the Chick that I love! You are the Chick that I love!" (Except he says my real name. It would just be stupid if he called me Chick). I cannot imagine coaching anyone else through job troubles or having to have deep conversations about the future with more than one person. Just having to do all these things with one person? Wears. My. Rear. End. Out.

So. Jason never has to worry about me cheating, I suppose. I'm lazy.

Also? I love him and stuff.

But still.



Lazy.

35 comments:

dennis said...

weeeell, I guess there are worse ways to wear one's rear end out...

you could be a Rodeo Bronc Buster,
a long haul truck driver
white water raft guide

to name a few

LOL

Anonymous said...

Maybe you wouldn't cheat on him but he sure would cheat on you! He has before and he will again!

Just A Girl said...

I think anonymous up there has been drinking the kool-aid....

I don't have time to cheat on Al. He wears my ass out too...and not in the all nighter backwards cowgirl way I'd like to imagine.

Tamsyn said...

I always think that about polygamy. How would it not be utterly exhausting for the husband?

If you love someone properly, all the time, every day, you simply don't have the emotional energy to spare for another partner... If you do have emotional capital spare, I think you're cheating on your investment into your marriage before you've even started with the infidelity...

Morgan Leigh said...

Amen, sista! My thoughts exactly. I had a boyfriend that cheated on me (I'm writing about it on my blog)..... and I don't now how he had the energy to keep up with not one, not two but three women!

Kimberlie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
frannie said...

oh, look the anona-whore has graced us with her presence again. isn't that lovely? she is just so special. really brightens up a blog-- doncha think?

anyway, I totally agree. what a pita to cheat! I could never do it.

Toritopia said...

I totally agree. I do not have the energy to keep up with the one husband, nevermind a second guy. I tell my husband that he never has to worry about me cheating on him because I am way too lazy.

I am Trish Marie said...

Oh yay! AnonaBitch is back! Look seriously, you have tried every angle of attack. Do you really think she believes you or gives a shit?

And, God, I totally agree...I am way too lazy for any of that. Gee. I can barely handle one, let alone two!

nailgirl said...

I AM TOO LAZY TOO. I mean I can barely have the energy so say nice things and remember to hug him and stuff. He takes a back seat to the kids poor thing.

Oh and anon..... You.... SUCK ASS.

Kelly M said...

Yeah I totally agree with you! Cheating is not for me! I find it hard enough to deal with 1 guy let alone 2...dear god NEVER!

Jenski said...

Ha!
I think people who think relationships should be easy and love always happy cheat. That's just from situations I've witnessed.

The Huffs said...

LOL That just cracks me up. I'd decided I must be a selfish, lazy hag, until I read your post and the comments posted here -- and realized I'm not alone!! I love my husband, and I do all these things too -- but I don't like it. I'm freakin' lazy! I do it 'cuz I love him, but otherwise -- fuggeddaboutit. If something happened to Hubby? I'd never marry again. I wanna come home, flop on the couch in my warmest flannel nightie, and watch my fav. shows WITHOUT someone wrinkling their nose and whining "Do we have to watch THAT show" meaning House Hunters, Dr. Phil, Oprah or something equally "girlie."

Ohhhh I feel so much better now -- knowing there are others like me!! I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. Well, maybe there is, but at least I am in good company!

Ha! Thanks for the laugh for today.

The Huffs said...

Oh and Anonymous? No one believes you. Go crawl back under the rock you came out from under. 'Kay? Leave the discussion for the grown-ups.

Suzy said...

"I want to sit on my butt and watch reruns of Law and Order. I want to pop a bag of popcorn and eat it for dinner. I want to spend hours on the computer and not do the dishes."

I do all of those things and sometimes think that's why I don't want to get married.

Jan said...

So totally agree with you- I am lazy, too!

Robyn said...

Ya know what, I totally agree. I mean, seriously..who has the time or energy to cheat anymore? Those wound up people that drink that energy drink or somthin? Holy cow. My J wouldn't cheat on me, we are happy with each other and our kidlets! Plus, you know, there's that working 80+ hours a week thing he does...eek!

Allie Bear said...

I agree with Huff, I would never marry again. It's too much work to always think of others (I prefer being selfish and I'm good at it).
As far as anonymous goes, we should all ignore her, I'm sure she gets off getting us all riled up. I learned a long time ago if you ignore them they get bored and go away.

Amira said...

So, being lazy CAN be good! ;)

I'm sure Jason loves you TO death and knows you would never cheat on him.

tiger lamb girl said...

I hear ya. Loving my husband is hard work too;).

Anonymous said...

Your husband probably will cheat on you because you are fat and lazy. Women don't understand that a man wants a woman to satisfy him. Looking at your picture I can garantee you don't satisfy your husband. YOU ADMIT YOUR LAZY! Men get pussy on the side because of women like you.

Anonymous said...

Your husband probably will cheat on you because you are fat and lazy. Women don't understand that a man wants a woman to satisfy him. Looking at your picture I can garantee you don't satisfy your husband. YOU ADMIT YOUR LAZY! Men get pussy on the side because of women like you.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Chick, I'm with you. I devote so much energy to the Scoot, I have none left for anyone else.

Oh, and anonymous? Your Crazy is showing. Might want to be a bit more discreet.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous -- YOU'RE a pussy. And I mean that in the worst possible way.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

I agree- Loving one man is a LOT of work. To contantly think of, and care for any other person is so consuming. To think of all of the work that goes into cheating, the lying, the sneaking, etc., and for what? Physical gratification? So not worth it.

As for Anony-bitch- Get a life for God's sake. Stop being a douchbag and find something better to do. Silly nutter....

Squishy Tushy said...

I'm going to ignore Anonymous.

But damn, Chick, you are sooo right. Taking care of two kids, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, making dinner, running errards all over the city... seriously. Who has the friggin' energy for an affair?! Certainly not me.

Catwoman said...

Yeah, having an affair would TOTALLY cut into my TV time. Which is already limited due to hubby and child.

Anonymous said...

You all are so fucking stupid

Lil Mouse said...

i have to agree that even thinking about loving another man is exhausting. i love with my whole heart. the great thing is? my husband is the same way. he thinks all older women are too old and all younger women are too young. he loves all of me, heart, body and soul. i'm blessed.

and chick, you've got blogger. go in and block the anonymous comments, then they either have to own up to who they are, or keep their mouths shut! ;-) k?

Stephanie said...

I dunno if I'm too lazy or if I just feel very strongly about it because I've been cheated on before, could be both. Either way, I hate cheaters with a passion.

But you're awesome, Chick, don't let anyone tell you different.

Karin's Korner said...

I know someone that is cheating on his wife right now also. I think it sucks! I don't know his wife and I am sure that he is thinking that he has all kinds of excuses about why it is ok for him to cheat but in my book, even if "he is not getting any at home" or "she is such a bitch" or hell, I don't know, I still think that she has the right to tell him to take a hike if she wants to. I think that he owes her to tell her that he is with someone else so that he has to answer to someone about it. Right now he is having his cake and eating it too and really thinks that no one except a few choice guys in the office, know about this and the fact of the matter is that WE ALL KNOW YOU ASSHOLE!! Sorry, didn't think that I had to get it off my chest that way.

Rachel said...

Wow, it must be super sad to have such a boring life that you have to lurk on someone's blog and leave stupid, inane comments without the balls to admit who you are. But, whatever.

I'm too lazy to cheat too, lol. All I wanna do after work is watch a little tv and crash, not plot how I'm gonna leave the house late to stay up even later with someone else.

Oh and I love Chris and all too.

SJ said...

I'm glad that you are too lazy to cheat on Jason, because you know that would be totally un-cool! And you are the coolest blogger chick I know!

Cheating spouses suck.

bermudabluez said...

"I want to sit on my butt and watch reruns of Law and Order. I want to pop a bag of popcorn and eat it for dinner. I want to spend hours on the computer and not do the dishes."

I SOOOOOOO agree with you! You Rock! So, you and Jason have a great Valentine's Day!

lyndaspix said...

I loved this post! And I agree with you. I love my husband and I don't want to expend the energy on anyone else. He is worth my time, love and passion. I haven't found that in anyone else.