Saturday, February 16, 2008

What it feels like, for a girl.

Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like for a girl
Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl
-"What it feels like for a girl" Madonna


My life has been reduced to one of Madonna's lesser songs.

So many things have happened this week. So many of them have been extraordinarily sucky.

There is a glass ceiling. I am banging my head against it, hard.

No matter how hard I work or how smart I am or what I do? I'm still a girl.

I'm young and I'm bright and I'm a girl.

Therefore, despite my education, despite my intelligence, despite everything I am and everything I can be? There will always be a large sector of the population that believes I'm not good for anything except making them copies.

And you know what's worse?

Even after I've "proved" myself by actually doing the work and doing a good job? Someone else gets the credit for it.

And what's even worse that that?

The person getting the credit? Knows he didn't do the work and STILL took the credit anyway.

And I can't fix any of it.


What's the worst, worst?

Yesterday, my husband lost his job.


I still really don't know why. I mean, there is an explanation, but it doesn't make sense.



Really? I feel like I'm just being kicked in the fattest part of my ass by the entire universe right now.

I'm really not sure why.

42 comments:

Nancy said...

I know it doesn't really help, but I wanted to leave you a comment with a {{{{{BIG HUG}}}}

Jenty said...

Sounds like you're going through a very frustrating time. Hope things start looking up soon.

Tara said...

oh I'm so sorry. What a nightmare. Too bad you don't live closer, I could totally sick my kids on those stinky men at your work and the ridiculous people at your husband's job.

I really am sorry.

Lizarita said...

Dude. I know I don't have to tell you this, but that sucks. All of it. The man vs. woman. Jason losing his job. BLOWS.
But you have a family. And a home. And your faith.
You will be fine. I have NO DOUBT.
Big hugs from the other side of the state.

Lisa said...

OMG I am so sorry about Jason. Obviously the people at his work are related to the people at your work. I'm sure he will find something quickly. As for you, I am sure there is one person (other than YOU) at your work who knows and values you and realizes you are worth your weight in gold. I'm not a big hugger, but if it'll help here's a gold star *

frannie said...

I am so sorry about Jason' job-- I know that completely puts your looking for a new job on the back burner.

Life just sucks ass sometimes.

and I'm so sorry that it is happening to you!

Allie Bear said...

Cheer up Charlie, everything will work out in the end, maybe this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I know it sucks and I'm really sorry for that but y'all should take these lemons and make lemonaid. He didn't love his job anyway, right?

Sleeping Mommy said...

Oh I am so sorry Chick. I know its scarey, we went through this a year and half ago and I didn't have a job to back us up. It ended up being the push my husband needed to do something bigger on his own.

Perhaps this is the dark before the dawn? I hope so.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Oh, Chick. I'm so sorry. Is this the straw breaking that will move you guys elsewhere? I hope you BOTH find places that appreciate you for your worth.

Jan said...

Man, that definitely sucks. My husband lost his job, found another after 3 months then lost that one (the housing industry is terrible right now) He was out of work for 6 months and it was the hardest thing we've ever been through. We got pretty tired of people saying, "You guys are strong- something will come up." Easy to say when you have a job. It sounds goofy but the one thing that saved us was our faith in each other. Sometimes that's all you have. Good Luck!

nailgirl said...

I predict that jason will have another job in no time. And you will find one too. It's out there you just wait.

Angie said...

Okay, that really sucks. I am so sorry.

tiger lamb girl said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Chick. And since I seem to be praying so much lately? I'll just add you to the list;).

Hang in there and know others are praying with and for you. xo

Suzy said...

Yes, there is a glass ceiling. And what's heartbreaking to me is to see the men in this country voting for yet another man for President. Men support each other and always have. Women do not support each other in the same way. If Hillary won the Presidency, we would all, as women, have had our lives transformed. Because no one would be able to imply that a woman isn't good enough to do a job.

I'm sorry for you and for all of us.

Joy T. said...

I am so sorry you're going through this right now {{{HUGS}}}

Wenderina said...

I wrote 3 versions of a comment and erased every one. When my hubby was out of work last year, I got sick of people trying to make it better. Just keep hanging on. All those awful platitudes come true once you get past these times and get some perspective.

Jenski said...

I hope you are doing okay! Does this mean you get a temporary house-boy? Just think, as soon as Jason gets his less-sucky job, so can you! I'm really sorry the Management Type Person at Work sucks so much. Sometimes I try convincing myself that other scientists understand that the grad students do all the work in a lab, so when my advisor says "We" did something, other people know she means that I did something. I am sure that there are others who realize how hard you work and how valuable you are at work!

cathy said...

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope things work out for him and he finds another job soon. Never give up and be true to yourself.

Anna said...

You both deserve much better jobs, you will find them. There are great managers out there who will appreciate your talents. Don't let someone else's behavior affect your commitment to give your best effort, even when it's not deserved. At least you will be able to go home each night with your dignity, that is something they will never have, and it is worth far more than money.

Chelle said...

Oh Chick, I'm so sorry. This has been the most craptastic week for so many people - it's just not right.

I hope both you and Jason have wonderful new jobs soon. Take care..

Morgan Leigh said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope Jason finds a better job! I'm sure he will, and then you can! :)

Rebecca said...

I'm really sorry for the week of sooper suckitude. The first thought I had was that maybe this is the sign that its time to make that move into new jobs, like you were talking about a while back. Everything happens for a reason, so I will be hoping for something fantabulous to be coming your way.

SJ said...

Oh no....I'm so, so, terribly sorry to hear about Jason and his job. I've been laid off before and I know how bad it sucks. Hang in there, things will get better.

Sometimes the fog is just too thick to see clearly - but something better is waiting. I know it.

Edie said...

Oh no Chick!! That's not good news, not good at all. I'm sorry. That's all I know to say. :( You all will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

All the clever and encouraging words have been said.

Please know tht I am in your corner and we are praying for you.

Blessings to you Chick.
Y'all are way awesome.

J said...

I wish there was something I could say or do to help. We are all here for you, you know that.

If you want, to make you happier? You can crack on Allie up there for spelling lemonade wrong.
hahahahahahah

(I can say that, she is my friend.)

Smile!!

Kimberlie said...

So sorry...I know things will work out...:)

Anonymous said...

Come on over here with me baby I've got a job I'll take care of you and your fine fat ass

Lil Mouse said...

i'm telling you, get rid of the anonymous posting. how gross can you get? jeez. anyway, sorry for what's happened. I hope it gets better. in my experience, its god kicking you in the ass and telling you to look somewhere else..

Wondering Woman said...

Many years ago, when my husband & I were dating, we lived in different states. I quit my job, sold my house and moved to where he was to get married. He'd had a good "secure" job for years. The DAY I got there he got fired. It was VERY tough for quite some time. But he would never have quit his job & being forced into something else ended up being the best thing that ever happened to us. I hope you can look back & say the same for you guys about this.

I am Trish Marie said...

Wow. I don't know what to say. Sorry doesn't seem to cut it. Nor does any cliche like these things happen for a reason. Because even if they do happen for a reason, it makes me want to scream when people tell me that while I am still pissed and hurt that something in my life has gone wrong. But you know, maybe it was time for a change, and being a naively (okay maybe, blissfully) optimistic, I think something better will come from this.

Catwoman said...

I've been laid off once and fired twice. I won't claim it was fun. But both times? Best thing that ever happened to me.

I can't understand why they'd get rid of someone as hard working as Jason in the middle of tax season. They're obviously morons, but we already knew that from previous stories you told.

You'll both end up in better places, I can feel it in every last cell of my body.

my4kids said...

Sorry things are so sucky right now. (((hugs)))

Jocelyn said...

Ah, for crap.

The aftershocks of all this are so much of crud. Tell Jason I'm sorry. And tell you I'm sorry.

EE said...

I'm so sorry, Chick.
Hugs!

The Huffs said...

All you can really say, is "holy crap!" That really sucks. And blows. Someday you'll look back on all this and laugh. Someday. Just not now. Those people at your work should be fired. I can't believe in this day and age that kind of thing is still going on. I smell a hostile work environment lawsuit. Gender discrimination, too. Document, document, document, dahling. Write stuff down. Dates, times, places. Take copies of everything. Start a file, and don't keep it at work. Just think of it this way -- keep eating those Fiber One bars, and saying to yourself, "This too, shall pass." (Pun intended). LOL Hang in there, kiddo.

Just A Girl said...

Al lost his job in December. Unfortunately I really understand what you are going through and I can totally agree that "this sucks".

Rachel said...

Damn, I'm just now reading this. Sweetie, I am so sorry!!! I wish I could do or say something to make everything better. You will get through this. All of you. Together.

Big hugs!!! Big big hugs!!!

Shar said...

Ah hell. I'm giving you a huge hug... and what's the "right" part about this? Is that you know you're smart and talented...

Stephanie said...

You ARE smart and talented. And that glass ceiling? Is not everywhere. Find somewhere that doesn't have it. You can do it.

I'm sorry, though, that right now is so hard.

Jhianna said...

Ooof. I'm so sorry! Know that you're fantastic, he's fantastic, and it will get better.

Hate that glass ceiling and I'd never heard that Madonna song. She says it perfectly...

Bedtime Storyteller said...

My husband was fired on the 11th. He thought he had another job lined up, but he didn't pass the secret security clearance screening (it was to work on an AFB), so we're back to square one. :( And - to add insult to injury, the gas company didn't think they'd been charging us enough for 18 months and sent us a bill for $2500. which? sucks. and i'm not even sure I can fight it. so I'm right there with ya, sister!