I got an email recently from someone who reads my blog. I won't get into the specifics, because the email is private, but it was a very nice email and at one point the writer said that I deserved a baby.
The email was really sweet and I really appreciated it, obviously. I just kind of got stuck on the word "deserved".
Because, why do I, or anyone really, deserve a baby when someone else doesn't?
Sometimes I get pissed off when I see people who are pregnant who are treating the children they already have like crap. One of the main reasons I hate Wal-Mart so much is that every single time I go in there some slag dragging around three or four kids who are completely unwashed and nasty looking and she's eleven months pregnant and verbally abusing the children and smacking them and stuff. I get really, really, REALLY pissed off when someone has a child and they don't appreciate that child and do things like knowingly allow the child to be abused. And don't get me started on people who are pedophiles. I wish they were all dead, pretty much.
But when other people get pregnant, especially people I love, I don't get mad. I don't feel like I deserve it and they don't.
And I don't necessarily feel like I deserve a baby.
There are a lot of women out there who don't have any children who would love to have a child. A lot of women would probably be a lot better mothers than I am and teach their children that saying things like "doucheholes" and "assbiscuits" are wrong, instead of being like me and laughing a lot. There are some women who have more money in the bank than me and can stay at home with their baby and probably have a hell of a lot less mental issues than I do. And they can't pregnant either.
I'm not even sure I deserve what I already have.