Tommorrow will be Boy and Girl Child's 10th birthday.
Someday, I will let them read these.
Dear Girl Child,
Recently, you and I were talking and something you said confirmed for me that you are one of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.
You said, “I will be a very, very good mother.”
And you will, honey, you totally will. But what you said next confirmed it.
You said, “Your mother is a good mother. You are a very good mother. I will be a very, very good mother. It gets a little better each time.”
Maybe you don’t understand, to that level. Hell, I didn’t understand until I was thirty. But you do, in some way, get the fact that we all just do the best we can. My mother wasn’t perfect, so I try to be a little better than she was. I’m not perfect, but you know that I try so hard to be just a little better. And you, in turn, will try hard to be just a little better than I was for you. Your daughter? Will likely be the most amazing person either of us have ever met.
And she will have you to thank.
Often when I think about you, I am completely in awe. You are really a beautiful person, inside and out. You have a grace that is uncommon for a child your age. You make so many things seem so very effortless, but at the same time you never make your brother, or any other child, feel stupid or small if things don’t come quite as easy for them. You have self-confidence that rivals a supermodel, but you are never rude about it. You are who you are and you are unashamedly, unabashedly okay with that.
I hope you always know in your heart who you are. I hope you always remain true to yourself. I hope you do become a writer someday, because you, at age ten, display a true talent and voice. I hope you never let anyone make you think that you can’t make it, because I believe, firmly, that you can. I hope you never let anyone deter your hopes and dreams and that no matter what those dreams are, you pursue them with gusto. I hope you never let anyone make you think you don’t deserve as much because you are a girl, because, you my love, deserve the world. I hope you never, ever let anyone make you feel like you are less than amazing. Because you? Are truly an amazing person. I am honored to be in your life and even more honored that you consider me a “very good mother”. Because I totally consider you a “really great daughter”.
Dear Boy Child,
The night before last when I called you at your grandparent’s house and you had to go into the bathroom to talk to me and when you were safely secured, with the door closed and you whispered, “It’s hot as hell mom!”? Confirmed for me that you are funny as hell. Oh, and also respectful and all that crap. So, you rock.
For the last ten years, I’ve watched you all the time. You’ve struggled a lot, and you’ve failed a time or two, but I have always been absolutely amazed at your tenacity. You fall down and you get back up. You accept your fate in life with dignity. Sure you’re small. Maybe the other boys (okay, and girls) are bigger than you. But you? Are fierce. You are mighty. What you have inside is a spine of steel and a heart of gold and no one can ever, ever take that from you.
You teach me more in one day than I could ever teach you in a lifetime. And not just things like what a Kiwi is. You teach me how to be tough and how to be strong. You teach me that it’s okay to be myself. That if I am myself, people are still going to love me. Really, really cool people like you and your sister. You teach me that it’s okay to just horselaugh sometimes, even if it isn’t that funny. And, as I’ve mentioned before, your elaborate revenge fantasies? Amazing. I have no idea how we could fit chocolate laxatives, angry monkeys, and bees all into a box, but if we ever do? You and me babe, are going to take over the world.
For a million reasons and a million more reasons I don’t even know about yet, I am so freaking glad you are my kid.