Saturday, May 10, 2008

His heart was in the right place. At least.

"Mom?" says Boy Child. "How do you spell whore?"

"W-h-o-r-e," says I, completely engrossed in my newspaper.

"Thanks!" says Boy Child, running back to whatever he was writing.

A few moments pass and it dawns on me what I have just spelled for my son.

I go to him.

"Boy Child?"

He looks up from his work.

"Hi mom!"

"Honey, did you just ask me to spell whore?"

"Yep!" he said, cheerfully, coloring in some elaborate drawing he has done.

"Boy Child?" I say, after a moment. "Could I please see what you're working on there?"

"Sure!" he says, and cheerfully passes over his latest "book", which includes lots of cartoon cats, bombs, and superhero costumes.

On one the pages, a character is saying, "We've got to save the whore!"

"Boy Child," I say, grasping and struggling, "This page right here? Um...we've got to save the whore? I just...I don't know if..."

Boy Child looks genuinely confused.

"Mom? Why wouldn't you want to save the whore?"

"Well, I mean, I guess you need to save all's just...."

"No, mom," Boy Child shakes his head. "Not people. Like, saving the earth. The planet."


"Yes!" he's very pleased. "Yes, the world."

"Oh! OH! Okay. Well, that's spelled a little differently. Let's fix that. Right now."

"Okay," says Boy Child, erasing.

"It's spelled w-o-r-l-d," I said. "WORLD. Not WHORE."

Boy Child cheerfully filled in the correct spelling and read me the corrected line.

"Much better!" I said.

"Yeah," he said. "World. Whore. What's the difference?"

"Um. Some. Boy Child. Some."


frannie said...

I think it's nice that he wants to save the whore!

Breigh said...

oh that's too funny :)

Heather said...


Kim said...

*coffee spews out of mouth onto computer screen*

Don't you just love the innocence of kiddos?!

Tulip Girl said...

Let's be clear, there aren't any whores in your area right now to save because they are all making their way to Denver to make real money when the Democratic National Convention arrives!

J said...

I just choked on my food, gagged a little, and cracked the hell up.

Your kids are!

Allie Bear said...

He's right though, we do need to save the whores.

Kimberly said...

Gah! How could you keep from busting a gut?

Angie said...

Seriously. Your kids are the bomb.

Mikey said...

Good thing I wasn't drinking something when I read this. I totally laughed out loud. Then I read the next one and started laughing again, hubby saying "What's so funny?"

You kill me, you really do.. and I too, think it's nice he wants to save the whore... lmao

Morgan Leigh said...

hahahaha. that is so funny. so funny.

KiKi said...

Priceless. LMAO

Kelly M said...

HAHAH too funny! Happy Mother's DAY!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like he's going to be a missionary to the red light district! That kid is something else!

Gerbil said...

I just spit coffee straight out of my nose. Oh mah lord.

EE said...

LOL! I just love boy child!!!

Jenski said...

What a riot!

Someday, you can embarrass him with these stories. In a nice loving way, of course!

Jocelyn said...

I like to think that, on some level, Whores Can Save the World.

Jhianna said...

I think that's a noble sentiment: Save the Whore! And I love that you spelled it for him without quite realizing what it was :D