Last night I had a dream about Jason Priestley.
Yup. The guy who was on Beverly Hills 90210.
He wasn't Brandon Walsh in the dream. Or maybe he was. I can't remember and I don't think I ever said his name during the dream anyway.
The dream wasn't sexual or anything. In the dream, he and I were falling in love.
It was really strange. I could feel the emotions so vividly. The butterflies in the stomach. The excitement. The anticipation. All of it.
I woke up and felt...I don't know. Sad? Disappointed? Something. I'm not sure what.
Because it's really nice to feel that falling-in-love feeling, isn't it?
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I love our family. But I don't feel a lot of butterflies anymore when I see him. I feel comfortable and safe, but I don't have that anticipation anymore. Sometimes, God love him, I enjoy when he has to travel because I need a break.
It worries me, a bit. In a lot of ways I feel like it's normal. But still.
We've been married five years, almost. And I wonder.
How do people who have been married ten or twenty or thirty years keep that feeling? Is it even possible?