I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
I need someone to tell me that this gets better. That eventually, if I keep trying that the blinding panic attacks will go away. That I will be able to sleep the whole night through and not wake up because I'm dreaming of the wolf that is right around the corner. The wolf who wants to destroy me.
If you have lived through this, please tell me. Please tell me it gets better. That the highs and lows come and go and that the world isn't actually caving in on my head.
Because right now, it feels like it is.