Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Back to the place where I belong.

On Sunday morning after Jason volunteered to help me with my eyebrows ("They could use some attention, hon") he told me how much he would miss me this week.

I told him I would miss him as well, and that I was already feeling kind of sick over the whole trip. Not just the stress of dealing with my grandmother's death and the family drama that is likely to ensue, but also going to North Carolina.

North Carolina is where Jason and I met and fell in love. Where we were married almost five years ago. Where we lived the first year of our marriage.

Being in North Carolina without him doesn't feel right to me.

"It's just hard," I said. "I'll be in unfamiliar beds for a whole week."

But it's more than a bed, you know? More than a place you lay your head. It's where your heart is. Where your life is.

Like it or not, my life is in Tennessee for now.

I've struggled with living here. I'm not sure this is where I belong at all. We've set up all the trappings of a normal life in this place. We have a home, a dog, jobs. We have a front porch swing, a garden hose, checks with our names printed on them.

This is our life.

This place, for now, is where I belong.

13 comments:

Amy W said...

I know it's hard, especially the circumstances. If you are coming anywhere close to where I am, please let me know.

giants fan said...

I hope that you are able to return home shortly.

where you belong.

Sabrina said...

I live close to Amy, so if you're anywhere near us also, please let me know. I'd love to meet you!

Julie said...

What a sweet post! You'll be back home in no time. Sometimes it takes leaving to realize how much you love a place.

J said...

I know the feeling! When I had to go back to Indiana 2 years ago to tend to my mom I felt really weird because D wasn't there.

I guess it's true, the old saying,Home IS where the heart is.

Kimberly said...

Home truly is where the heart is, isn't it? Travel safe. ~Hugs~

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I wish I could be there for you. You're right, it won't be an easy week, but it will end and you'll be home before you know it.

Hang in there, Chick.

Angie said...

Well, even if it is just for the time being, I'm glad we live in the same state.

Can we meet up one of these days? I promise I'll behave.

Kelly M said...

I hope you have a safe trip. Before you know it you'll be back home. Unfortunately (or fortunately) at times like this the time FLIES by. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss...

Kiki said...

A couple of years ago I moved about an hour away from my family and even though it wasn't a change in state, it was a change in life and it never felt right. I am so glad to say that I am back where I belong. Back where good things happened to me. Just remember that Jason loves you and where ever the two of you are, as long as he loves you... you are home.

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Home is where you hang your heart.
And you are the coolest.

Blessings.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Home is a good, good place, and I hope you're back soon!

Lots of hugs and prayers for you, babe.

Rachel said...

I think you actually belong in Memphis. You could start a crotch-punching business. Because there are an infinite amount of douchewads and asshats here. It would be very lucrative.