On Sunday morning after Jason volunteered to help me with my eyebrows ("They could use some attention, hon") he told me how much he would miss me this week.
I told him I would miss him as well, and that I was already feeling kind of sick over the whole trip. Not just the stress of dealing with my grandmother's death and the family drama that is likely to ensue, but also going to North Carolina.
North Carolina is where Jason and I met and fell in love. Where we were married almost five years ago. Where we lived the first year of our marriage.
Being in North Carolina without him doesn't feel right to me.
"It's just hard," I said. "I'll be in unfamiliar beds for a whole week."
But it's more than a bed, you know? More than a place you lay your head. It's where your heart is. Where your life is.
Like it or not, my life is in Tennessee for now.
I've struggled with living here. I'm not sure this is where I belong at all. We've set up all the trappings of a normal life in this place. We have a home, a dog, jobs. We have a front porch swing, a garden hose, checks with our names printed on them.
This is our life.
This place, for now, is where I belong.