Jason likes to watch the news. In fact, if he could he would watch the news pretty much 24/7. And he does when he is not at work.
I? Don't care for the news. I figure life sucks enough without having to see what is going on in Outer Mongolia. I don't like to hear about child molesters. I don't like to hear about people getting murdered. I suppose I'm not very aware of the world around me and sadly, I like that just fine.
Jason was watching a news program in which the announcer (who's name I won't mention because I don't want it on my blog) said, "Well, I don't care about gas prices since I have plenty of money and I can buy all the gas I want!"
I said, "How can you watch this crap? Did you HEAR that guy?"
Jason said, "I know. I just watch it for information."
I said, "You just watch it for doucheortation."
"Jason," I said. "Out of all the douches you watch on television? He's the most vinegary."
"That was really funny!" he said almost in...surprise? I guess.
"I'm freaking hilarious," I informed him. "Stick around."
How does he not know this after almost nine years together and five years of being married to me?
I deem his listening skills as "needs improvement".