Thursday, August 21, 2008

Come on over, come on over baby!

Due to the mayhem and foolishness of the past few days, I have spent a great deal of time studying my SiteMeter. In doing so, I found the following searches which brought people to my blog.

1) Bleach his asshole

O! M! G!

I swear. I SWEAR. I have never, ever, EVER talked about bleaching anyone's asshole. I've never even THOUGHT about that.

JAY-SUS.


2) Need to lose weight

Get in line, sister. Get in line.


3) Jason loves Jesus

Hysterically? This was my very own husband. I swear to Fred, he really thinks this is the name of my blog. At any rate he found it. And he reads it from time to time.


4) therapist in NC

I don't know any. I know some people in North Carolina who desperately NEED a good therapist and I know of a good therapist in East Tennessee. But I can't make those two things match up no matter what I do.


5) MY LIFE SUCKS BECAUSE I LOVE GOD

Um. What?


6) i love jason and he doesn't know

I'll tell him! I don't think he cares though!


7) don't love my husband anymore and want to leave

For the love of God, don't cheat before you leave. On this blog that causes a whole bunch of crap. And if you're leaving because he's gotten fat? Well, you suck.


8) maury povich show overweight child

I love Maury. He'd probably let me on his show, don't you think? I could confront my ex-husband and say, "I'm 2000 percent sure you are the father!"

But I hate my ex-husband and don't want to bother. So there's that.


9) anal beeds

Bitch, please.

It's anal BEADS. Get it right.


10) mom doesn't love me

Dude. I'm sorry. I feel the same way.

Not about you. About my own mom. Just wanted to make that clear.

18 comments:

Sarcasta-Mom said...

LOL. I totally need one of those Site Meter dealies :)

Jana said...

That is HIlarious!! Especially the part about not cheating cause we don't like those mofu's around here! LOL

You crack me up...

Betsey Booms said...

Seriously? Who even thinks of anal bleaching?

Mrs. Scuba said...

Jason Loves Jesus- LOL :) I need a site meter too!

SJ said...

Anal Beeds. Ha! That one took the cake.

You always know how to make me smile!

Rottie_mom said...

OMG that is too funny!!!

Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity said...

rolling over here.. but what else is new when i read your blog... :d

Allie Bear said...

Anal Beeds, that is the funniest shit I've read in awhile.

Kimberly said...

Okay, those are hilarious all on their own, and you totally doubled the funny.

Smilf said...

BA HA HA!!! I need to go look at mine now. This is FAB. :)

Kellie said...

They all cracked me up. But, the "Jason Loves Jesus" one made me laugh the most.

Your husband is just funny.

giants fan said...

the freaks come out and play!

Suzy said...

I love that Jason never remembers the name of your blog.

Tara said...

hysterical.

seriously.

do you twitter? if you do I should totally be following you just to hear bits of funny throughout my otherwise rather un-funny day!

thanks.

Wenderina said...

Damn girl. I'm sitting in an airport in Charlotte NC waiting for a thrice delayed flight and man did this post make me laugh - out loud - spitting flat diet coke out of my mouth and dribbling on my brand new laptop.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! That was just awesome. And every damned time you type "bitch please" I laugh my ass off. :)

squishytushy said...

WHOA!!! WTF is with #1???!!!!

PaintedPromise said...

ok HOW does one acquire a site meter?????