Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Mandatory pre-sex weight check. Coming up!

I was talking to a relative of mine recently about John Edwards. No, not the psychic. The guy who wanted to be Vice-President about four years ago.

To be fair, I should preface this by saying I don't like John Edwards. I did not like him when I lived in North Carolina, I did not like him when he was the Vice-President wanna-be and I liked him even less when I found out he stuck his weenie into another woman's hoo-hoo diddle.

But really, what difference does it make in my life? He's not my husband. He's a private citizen. Lots of people cheat on their spouses, sadly. I get that. I don't like it, but I do get it. So whatever. Makes no difference to me, right?

But I don't like him. I just want to be upfront about that.

So anyway, the relative of mine said the following and I swear I think my hair caught on fire I was so angry,

"I feel so sorry for him. That woman tempted him."

Well, boo-freaking-hoo. Aren't we as, you know, humans tempted pretty much all the time? I know I am. I work with this one guy that I have a mad, ridiculous crush on. He's adorable and funny and nice and I really like him as a person. That doesn't mean I would ever let him stick his weenie into my hoo-hoo diddle. For the love of God.

But before I could even protest this? My relative said,

"And you know...Elizabeth Edwards is kind of overweight."

Literally y'all. LITERALLY, I shook my head. Because I was sure there was something crazy in my ear and I could not POSSIBLY be hearing that correctly.

So. Let me get this straight.

Elizabeth Edwards. Mother. Beautiful. Brilliant. Kind. Loving. Funny. Well-educated.

Overweight.


So suddenly, the first seven adjectives mean nothing. The only one that matters is the eighth. The one that really should matter the least.

And you know, it stopped being about John Edwards at that moment for me. I mean, yeah. He's a dog or whatever. He cheated. He sucks. The woman he cheated with sucks. They both suck.

But suddenly, it has to be about Elizabeth Edwards. Not about how I feel about her (because frankly? She lost cool points with me when I found out that she knew he cheated and she stuck around anyway). Not about who she is and everything she's accomplished.

About her weight.


So. How fat does one have to be before it's socially acceptable to cheat?

I know I don't know the whole story. I don't know the situation. I've never walked a mile in her shoes...or his for that matter. I don't really know how I would react in this situation if it happened to me (although I think the f word would be thrown about copiously and Jason would have to dislodge my foot from his ass). So I'm really not judging them. Honestly. I don't know what they should have done. I have fantasies that Elizabeth would get on television and say, "The hell with this hot mess, I'm leaving", but in the absence of that, I don't know what.

But am I judging people who think that it's okay for your spouse to sleep with someone else because the other person gained weight.

I really want to know. How fat is fat enough to cheat?







And also? What in the damn hell is wrong with people?

60 comments:

B&K said...

Oh. My. Gawd. WTF??? Please tell me you are kidding. That Elizabeth asked for it because she is "a little overweight?" I suppose this person thinks rape victims "ask for it" when they dress provocatively. Holy crap!! I didn't think anyone with half a brain in the 21st century still thought like that!

That is absolutely appalling! Like John Edwards had no responsibility whatsoever; that he's so led around by his little head that he can't think for himself (oh wait . . . that one is true). Okay that the "other woman" led him into sin. HA! Like you said . . . what the damn hell???

I am speechless. There aren't words to describe the ignorance of people who think like this.

Holy everlovin' crap.

Angie said...

Amazing.
Simply.
Amazing.


Stupid.
But(t).
Amazing.

Kimberly said...

This is a seriously messed up world we live in, there's just no getting around that, is there? Our thinking is so backwards with regards to so many things.

Daphne said...

I'm with you. I don't get it either.

AndreAnna said...

Women are so stupid.

Susan B. Anthony rolls over in her grave all damn day because all of her hard work is in vain because sure, we can vote, but WE'RE STILL FUCKING STUPID.

Not you or me of course. :)

imsilentnomore said...

Umm, Yeah. As if it is not bad enough that a man cheats, someone then has to try to lay the blame somewhere else?

Stupidheads!!

Madame Queen said...

Gosh, I'm surprised that person didn't go on to say "And you know she has terminal cancer, so she's probably not meeting his needs either."

You know, I try not to ever judge why people choose to leave or stay, because you never really know what goes on inside a marriage, but they have two small children. And she's dying. I think it is probably better that they stay together. (which really makes JE even MORE of an ass, IMO).

Rachel said...

I AUDIBLY gasped when I got to the "overweight" part.

What is WRONG with people!?!

Anonymous said...

Oh I get it. That's why Jason cheated on you. Because your fat. DUH.

Morgan said...

And I ask, "What the hell?"

The thing that most disgusted me was the fact that his wife had cancer.

What a bastard.


oh, and anonymous, suck donkey gonads, mkay?

J said...

You know, Anon had to go and make my anger pointed in another direction. Let me first say that I can't believe it when people say such ignorant things. That's like when D's grandparents told us that if we let Princess around homosexuals they would molest her and turn her gay.



And Anonymous? Seriously. Grow a set of balls and say who you really are. You have beef with Chick? Be a grown-up and say what you really mean, and who you really are. Otherwise? Take your immaturity else-where. We are tired of you.

Emma in Canada said...

Oh anonymous. Foolish, foolish little anonymous. Sigh. Some people.

Anyway, I haven't been keen on John Edwards since he decided to run for president even though his wife had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I don't believe that was a joint decision no matter what she said. It just went to prove how selfish and self absorbed he was. And still is apparently.

Emma in Canada said...

Oh anonymous. Foolish, foolish little anonymous. Sigh. Some people.

Anyway, I haven't been keen on John Edwards since he decided to run for president even though his wife had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I don't believe that was a joint decision no matter what she said. It just went to prove how selfish and self absorbed he was. And still is apparently.

Emma in Canada said...

Oh anonymous. Foolish, foolish little anonymous. Sigh. Some people.

Anyway, I haven't been keen on John Edwards since he decided to run for president even though his wife had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I don't believe that was a joint decision no matter what she said. It just went to prove how selfish and self absorbed he was. And still is apparently.

Anonymous said...

Like it or not its about weight. When I married my wife in 2000 she weighted 130lbs. Now she weighs over 200lbs. I begged her every day for 3 years to loose the weight but she wouldn't. So I went and got myself a "friend" who wasn't fat.

I like this site and I think the author is funny but I wouldn't have sex with her because shes fat. Thats just the fact of life.

Chuck said...

What is wrong with people is that they are liars. They pretend to be something that they are not so they can get married or get laid. I'm not sure which one is worse in this situation, him or her. But they both made mistakes.

Anonymous said...

Fat chicks are good fuckbuddies sinse they are desperate you can always get some from them!!!!1

Girl from Pennsylvania said...

Good thing I am married to a 145 lb man soaking wet. Anything over 145 lb would be fatter than him. Shew. Good thing he still loved me in my fat girl days.

I am Trish Marie said...

Nobody deserves to be cheated on. There is no excuse. I get how idiots like Anon can blame a woman fo gaining weight, because then, of course, it isn't their fault. But how can any logical, sane person think that is a reasonable explaination?

Anonymous said...

Nobody deserves it? So the man deserves to be tricked into marrying a woman who gains 100 pounds and turns into an ugly whale?

giants fan said...

well said.

Ron said...

UMMMMM wow. There is so much to say to Anonymous but it's really not worth it.

I don't think any weight gain is enough to warrant being cheated on. I was a John Edwards supporter and I do have to admit that he did lose some standing in my eyes as a person. That being said, I don't know if it would affect my opinion of him as a potential leader.

It's definitely no one elses fault but his in my opinion though.

That Chick Over There said...

Holy crap. Did a Star Trek convention walk into my blog or something?

That Chick Over There said...

No offense to Trekkies who aren't stupid assholes, of course.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

Oh Anonymous. You just have to go and keep proving you're the stupidest, pettiest douche on the planet. And, if you think we don't realize that all of these anonymous posts are from the same douche-hole, you're sadly mistaken.

That said, I think it's terrible that marriage vowa are taken so lightly by people these days. To go and justify someone's infidelity by saying their spouse was "overwight" is just plain astounding. I really hope the relative that said this isn't one you really like. Beacuase frankly? They should be kicked in the junk.

B&K said...

Wow Chick. Seems like your blog is a freak magnet! If I were you, I'd consider disallowing anonymous comments. Make those chicken shits own up to who they are if they want to comment.

And to the Anonymous commenter who went and got himself a "friend" who wasn't fat, because his wife was fat? Anonymous, if I were your wife, I'd go out and get myself a new husband who wasn't an asshole. Geesh!!

Our Moments said...

I can not believe your relative said that. Seriously?!?! OMG.

The dude is capable of making up his own mind of what's right and wrong no matter who or what tempts him. I *did* like John Edwards, but I have lost all faith in his honesty and I wouldn't trust him at all. I couldn't imagine being Elizabeth... knowing that she was living her last days here on earth and her husband goes and does such a foolish thing. How incredibly heartbreaking. I think she's just sticking around b/c she doesn't want her children to suffer any more grief than she knows they will suffer upon her death. I mean, it's not like she's knocking on death's door, but her time here is limited. You know who I really feel sorry for? Their children. :(

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Good lord with the stupid comments.

That's why my aunt didn't divorce her husband after he cheated on her with HER BROTHER'S WIFE. She felt like she deserved it because of her weight. What a load of crap. I wish she had divorced him, let her kids know what an utter piece of sh*t their dad is, and taken him to the cleaners.

Julie said...

wow, i don't really know what I can add to these comments - so much has been said. I don't think physical changes give a spouse/partner carte blanche to cheat.

Anonymous said...

whatever. If all you bitches werent fat then you wouldn't be bitching and moanning about this. If you get fat and your husband cheats on you its your fault!!!

Karin's Korner said...

anonymous~ you are an idiot!! If you can't reveal yourself then don't come around, you hide behind "anonymous" and don't show yourself because you are a chicken shit. A real man with something important to say would reveal himself. Be a man...a big man...come out and let us fat chicks know who you are you little dick, pinky penis, winky wiener asshole!

Stephanie said...

Wow, you sure have a lot of anonymous readers with attitudes not conducive to a good, solid, happy marriage. I have completely lost my train of thought reading their horrible drivel. I imagine it's either one person, who will never be/stay married or many that will never be/stay married.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Now how did I *know* that anon was going to eventually call all the commenters fat? I didn't see that one coming from 100 miles away!

Betsey Booms said...

Insane!

Although I did hear someone give the advice to someone that yes, your wife is fat but you leave her before you cheat on her.

It's a messed up world!

Lil Mouse said...

this is why i dont talk to my relatives. no really. because they have stupid ideas like that too. #1 if he was committed to his wife he wouldn't have cheated, #2 weight doesnt matter when you're committed to your partner. ergo, he did it all by his lonesome. that's your relative making an excuse presumably for something THEY would like to do themselves, but can't find a good enough reason. If everyone says nothing when they make that excuse, eventually they'll believe it and act on it. i feel sorry for your relative's spouse if they have one, because they are guaranteed to get cheated on...

Kiki said...

I hope that I never get fat enough for my boyfriend to cheat on me. I would have to seriously kick his ass. I almost want to kick your relatives ass.

Nen said...

holy crap. some people are so shallow!!! if i were you.. i probably would've given my relative an earful!!

CPA Mom said...

Chickie Doodle: your relative is an asshat. Period. There is NO excuse for infidelity. None. It was not even since her cancer was in remission (the excuse he used).

I do admire her for sticking around. Hold on, I do (yes, me, the first one to say dump the cheater) - because of her cancer, she is not going to be around to raise her children. Her husband will raise her children. So I think she stuck with him, hoping against hope this wouldn't be public (just guessing since I don't know her) for their sake - so they'd have a good relationship with him when she is gone. And I cannot IMAGINE the pain she is in to have to stay with this man, and this betrayal, every single day, for the sake of her children.

That? Is a true hero.

Allie Bear said...

I don't think gaining weight is an acceptable excuse to cheat, I'm pretty certain (in my eyes at least) there is no acceptable reason to cheat. That being said, I think it is important to "look good" for your spouse, my husband and I have an agreement that if I ever gained enough weight that he was no longer attracted to me he would tell me so I could do something about it. My husband could never use the excuse that he cheated because I was too fat because I wouldn't let it get to that, does that make sense?

Allie Bear said...

I hadn't read the comments before I posted mine and all I have to say is clearly anonymous is a moron because there are obvious spelling errors in all the comments, so I may be fat but you're stupid and there is nothing you can do about stupid.

Jana said...

oh my word.

There is never an excuse to cheat. If somebody feels that way than they should leave and then find a girlfriend. But that is a ridiculous reason to cheat. Is your relative a woman? Cause unfortunately, we are our own worst enemies... even a couple of the anonymous' on here that comment, come on! (which I believe is the same hateful bitch all the time that obviously has nothing better to do but conjure personalitites to make everyone as miserable as she is) It's ridiculous, instead of blaming the man for something he should not have done, we constantly blame each other! It doesn't matter what the crime is, even rape victims, women tend to find reason why they were raped and find excuses for men's behavior. It's stupid. Even skinny chicks get cheated on. For crying out loud, Christie Brinkley's shit was ALL OVER THE NEWS. So...what did she do wrong? What did she do to make her husband have sex with an eighteen year old?
GOD PEOPLE!!! LEARN SOME FUCKIN EMPATHY!!! And Anonymous, go FUCK yourself. PLEASE. Spend some quality time with yourself and relieve some of your obvious hateful tension... it gets old.

Sorry chick, didn't mean to go off on your comments. Love you girl!

Anonymous said...

I really want to know. How fat is fat enough to cheat?


I dont know. How fucking fat are you anyway????

B&K said...

I saw a bumper sticker once that said, "I may be fat, but you're ugly. I can lose weight."

LOL

Step away from the computer keyboard, Anonymous, and no one gets hurt. Small people with small pee-pees feel the need make other people feel small in order to make up for other shortcomings.

Mikey said...

Amen to that.

As for Anon, all I can say is karma is a bitch. Yours is coming...

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Fucking amazing. Fucking amazing. You're shitting me. I can't believe that that makes it justifiable to be cheated on. I haven't the words.

Oh, and Anonymous? Fuck off. Seriously. Trolls are naturally ugly, heartless people who have no function in society except as speed bumps for those of us who care about others.

Jason said...

Why don't you come over and say something about my wife to my face? Fuck you buddy!

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

What the hell is going on here? Sweet fancy Moses.

I don't like John Edwards. Never did. Even before this. Anyone who claims to be so sympathatic to the plight of impoverished people whilst getting $400 haircuts is a hypocrite, plain and simple. No likey.

Also? I'd love for Elizabeth Edwards to publicly dump him, too. Just like I wanted Eliot Spitzer's wife to tell her husband to eff off during one of his PR dealies.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

Jason???? I thought you didn't know how to find your wife's blog. LOL. Yeah Jason.

Also, for the record, I think all of the Anon comments are from that one crazy bitch-bag who keeps haunting Chick, and that she was just pretending to be a dude in that one comment.

MommyCosm said...

First of all, to anonymous:
YEAH, what CMGD just said, asshat!

...and, good for you Jason!! We've got your back.

I'm wondering if this was a male or a female relative? Not that that it matters, but that is so fucking ridiculous I can't even imagine someone actually believing it. I'd feel bad for the woman and I'd want to bitch slap the man. WOW.

B&K said...

ROFL to Heatherann Fragglehead. I LOVED your comments. "No likey." HA that is funny!!

And AMEN to what you said about Spitzer. Wouldn't THAT be a media event??? LOVE it.

Allie Bear said...

Yay Jason, chivalry is not dead!!!!

Mean Stepmom said...

On top of stressful political campaigns and being in the media spotlight, Elizabeth Edwards has also survived breast cancer and losing a child. Her life has not been easy. Anyone who could blame her for her husband's infidelity must be a thoughtless jerk.

Heather said...

HAHAHAHAHA did you see Jason's comment. Yea i would LOVE to see anon come up to Jason and say something.

She is beautiful and you would be LUCKY to be with a girl like her anon.

Jerk...geez

Scout's Honor said...

absofucking ridiculous. Tempted? What a jerk he is and anyone who thinks it's okay to cheat because of weight is a delusional fucktard.

That's all.

Oh, and I love your blog. :)

Scout's Honor said...

And about that fucktard of a troll, can't you get some ip addrss tracking software so you can find that son of whore? Then you can post where the bi-otch lives so we can visit her? Now that would be some fun, eh? Some software even gives geographical addresses as in where s/he is posting from? It would a fun game of out-the-troll? Come on. I wouldn't be surprised if it was someone you knew. The troll seems to have a personal vendetta against you.

Sabrina said...

Um...Christie Brinkley's not fat and her husband cheated on her...

Mike in TX said...

Chick I think you are a beautiful sexy woman and would be honored to have you as a wife like you. Having said that I think you know you need to lose weight because you are losing weight and talk about it on your blog. Some men are imature and think with the little head instead of the big one but you can't let them get you down.

SJ said...

Well Chick, I'm agast at what your relative said about why John Edwards cheated on his wife. Using weight gain as an excuse is just pathetic (and besides the woman has CANCER - think chemo and radiation - TWO THINGS that are proven to cause weight gain). But whatever. I would have been angry right there with you, the man cheated. Period, end of story.

Oh, and one more thing. This Anon person you have attracted to your comments? Totally must be fat.

Rottie_mom said...

Oh give me a break, fat whatever!!! I've never been a fan of John Edwards, even before hearing all this bs.

There is ZERO reason for cheating on your spouse no matter what. Funny I found out that when I was 145 lbs (and at 5'8" def not fat) by ex cheated on me. He was just better at it than most and I didnt catch him until later. Then I got smart and divorced his ass. So anon why dont you get together with my ex and exchange notes.

Chickie go you!!! And Jason, love seeing you step up!!!

Rachel said...

I don't give two shits how much someone weighs or anything else. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING!!!

None and there never will be. If you are unhappy in your relationship or marriage, either speak up about the problem or leave.

And, Chick, you're right, no one ever really knows how they will act in a certain situation until they are faced with that situation.

I belive it is possible to work together and move past the betrayal, but it's not easy and it's not something that happens overnight or even over a few months, but I really believe it's possible.

I have to.