This past weekend I went to Ohio to meet up with some fabulous people.
I didn't know these people.
It was pretty freaking weird.
So, to be fair? I did know them. Kind of. One of them I live in the same town as and we've become really good friends and it's never uncomfortable or weird with her (and God love her, after fourteen hours in a vehicle with me, she probably knows WAY more about me than she ever wanted to know). One other I had met once and loved. The other three? I didn't know in person.
But I knew them from the internet.
The internet people. Weird.
So you get to know these people and correspond pretty much on a daily basis for about four and a half years and then you finally get a chance to meet them and you're all like, "WHAT???!?!?!?" Because one of them lives in England and the others live in California and you just don't think it will ever happen. And then it does and it scares the frick out you.
I have horrible, horrible social anxiety. I get past it when I get to know people, but at first? I know this is hard to believe, but it is REALLY hard for me to talk to people and get to know people. I feel awkward. I feel unattractive, especially around really beautiful people (for example, the people I met this weekend). I wonder if they will like me. I wonder if they'll talk about my ass on the way home ("Oh my God Becky, did you see her butt?").
But it was okay.
It was better than okay. I physically harmed myself I laughed so hard.
And for me, it was even more than that. It was a change. It was something I had to challenge myself to do. And then when I got there? It wasn't hard at all. It wasn't uncomfortable at all. I felt like I belonged. I felt like I could be myself and they would be cool with me.
And they were.
And it? Was awesome.
This therapy crap is working I think!