Thursday, September 11, 2008

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Apparently the world keeps on turning as I trip my way, oblivious, through it.

It's not Fall yet. According to my calendar, it won't be Autumn until the 22nd of this month. Thus, in my mind, it should not be dark until really late.

Except, yeah. That's not actually what happens. What actually happens is that you are on a dark, wooded path trying to walk the fat off of your ass and suddenly you are plunged into abject darkness. And how fun is that? Well let me just tell you. Not very.

I had Ginger with me and in theory she's probably a very good guard dog. I don't know though because 1) she's unaware that she's a dog and 2) she's about the friendliest dog on the planet and if someone came up on us she would be all like, "Hello! Do you have food? I love you!" and wag her really fluffy tail and I'd be totally dead.

So. I'm on a path that is dark and wooded. I can't see my hand in front of my face. Every noise makes me think there is a robber or molester in the bushes, waiting to...you know, stab me.

So I ran.


I CANNOT RUN YOU GUYS. I am fat as holy hell. I have boobs the size of small countries. I. cannot. run.


But I ran.

And I got to the car and thought I WAS GOING TO FREAKING DIE.


But I ran.



I'm still counting it a victory.

26 comments:

giants fan said...

so scary!!!

Kellie said...

HAHAHA!!!

I laugh because when I run? I feel the same. And my boobs? Are tiny. No, really. They are.

Liane Gentry Skye said...

Two choices when I run. Get knocked senseless repeatedly by the girls....or wear a cast iron bra that prevents respiration. :)

Amy W said...

Sorry, still laughing about the boobs...

Robyn said...

FEAR is the only thing that can make me run!

KrustyLynn said...

Go on and get it girl!

Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity said...

as you should.... :D

CPA Mom said...

Keep on running Chick! It WILL get easier. Use two sports bras and GO! If I can run 5K now, you can too!!

Chelle said...

Good on you for running! The thought of someone else running just tires me out. I"m laaaaaaame.

AndreAnna said...

You can RUN if you wanted too. You can do anything you want.

Stick those girlies in a good sports bra, put on some creepy music, and get your ass on that path. LOL

notsosmallfries said...

It isn't awesome that you were scared. But it is awesome that you ran because you know what, you totally can! Congrats!!!! So exciting!!

Dawn~a~Bon said...

LOL - my sister always says that she won't run unless someone is chasing her. I guess THINKING someone is chasing you might qualify!

Seriously, though, be careful!

Angie said...

You never cease to make me laugh. Even when you're talking about how scared you were? You made me laugh.

Mean Stepmom said...

scary, but funny as hell LOL

Nen said...

i would've done the SAME THING! glad you made it to the car in one piece.

Priscilla said...

Whew! That was close!

You lived to tell about it.

Hooray!

Hot Mamma said...

Totally a victory. When I run, I make it, say 30 feet and I start huffing and puffing and ask myself what the hell I was thinking??!!!

BandK said...

Walk with a flashlight. A big ol' honkin' Maglight flashlight that takes like 25 batteries or something. You could cause some serious hurt on someone with a flashlight like that. Also? It can act as weights, making your walk even more productive. See? A double whammy. LOL

Stephanie said...

So not laughing! I know how scared I get and I can so sympathize! I too fear that someone is out to get me. Why me I have no idea, but it's enough to scare the crap out of me.

Rachel said...

This is why I just don't bother even walking. What if something like this happened and I had to run. I'd just get killed.

Kimberly said...

Okay, my chest got all tight reading that - freaky!

Amaelija said...

You should be soooo proud of yourself for running. Running sucks. It sucks hard. I HATE running. The only thing that bounces more than my boobs is my ass, and it weighs more, so all that jiggling gets painful after a while.

Yeah, that is exactly why I NEED to run.

Cat said...

I would have shit my knickers!!!

Hugs xx

Soliloquy said...

Just think of all the extra calories you burned!

Sorry you felt scared, but it made for a funny post. Loved it.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

I get all freaked out alone in the dark too. Hoever, I always say the only way I would ever run is if someone was actually trying to kill me, and even then, the odds of me running are only 50/50. lol.

Twisted Cinderella said...

sorry you got so scared.

We have a shortcut near our place that gets really dark at about dusk. It freaks me out to walk up there at that time too.