Apparently the world keeps on turning as I trip my way, oblivious, through it.
It's not Fall yet. According to my calendar, it won't be Autumn until the 22nd of this month. Thus, in my mind, it should not be dark until really late.
Except, yeah. That's not actually what happens. What actually happens is that you are on a dark, wooded path trying to walk the fat off of your ass and suddenly you are plunged into abject darkness. And how fun is that? Well let me just tell you. Not very.
I had Ginger with me and in theory she's probably a very good guard dog. I don't know though because 1) she's unaware that she's a dog and 2) she's about the friendliest dog on the planet and if someone came up on us she would be all like, "Hello! Do you have food? I love you!" and wag her really fluffy tail and I'd be totally dead.
So. I'm on a path that is dark and wooded. I can't see my hand in front of my face. Every noise makes me think there is a robber or molester in the bushes, waiting to...you know, stab me.
So I ran.
I CANNOT RUN YOU GUYS. I am fat as holy hell. I have boobs the size of small countries. I. cannot. run.
But I ran.
And I got to the car and thought I WAS GOING TO FREAKING DIE.
But I ran.
I'm still counting it a victory.