Lately I've been trying to clean the clutter out of my life, both literally and figuratively. Literally? I've been holding on to things that my children have had for like, seven years. And that's just ridiculous, you know? The kids are more willing to get rid of their toys than I am. I think that might have something to do with my infertile ass rather than anything to do with them at all.
I'm also cleaning out my own cabinets and drawers and I keep finding all of these things that I call my things but they aren't actually my things at all.
When I married Jason he had his own house and I had my own house. He moved into my house and brought all his crap with him and so we had two houses full of crap to deal with. Jason has even more of a problem than I do getting rid of things. He had a chef's jacket that he bought in, seriously, like 1997. Back when he worked out five days a week and could run ten miles at a time. Now? Not so much. And, not to mention, he doesn't work as a freaking chef anymore. But God forbid he get rid of that jacket because, "I might need it someday". To do what with, I have no idea.
What's weird to me is that there are so many things that have no meaning or history to me. I guess another reason I hold onto "things" is because they mean something to me. I remember buying certain toys for my children when they were in the hospital. I can't give those away. I clearly and vividly remember certain events and times and the items associated with them.
But there are tons of things in my home and in my life that I have no idea about.
There is a mirror which hangs in my living room. It's beautiful. Probably an antique.
I have no idea where it came from. Due to my husband's brain injury (no, I wasn't kidding about that), he has no memory of it either.
Knives and plates and books. I use them every day.
It feels like I am cheating. Like I'm using someone else's things. Not my things.
Jason has been around a long time. A lot of the things we have are "our" things. Things we have bought together. Things we have bought each other. Things I know.
But there are things I'll always wonder about, I suppose.