Monday, October 13, 2008

Whatever and you know, whatever.

About four hundred people have tagged me lately to do that thing about listing seven quirks or odd things about myself or whatever. I'm sorry that I can't recall everyone (okay...anyone) who actually tagged me. I'm a big hot mess. And no, I'm not counting that one as one of my quirks.

1) This one time? I was drunk-dialed by someone who is technically my relative but had no business drunk-dialing me.

And he told me things and stuff. Things and stuff which are bad. Bad, bad.


Similarly....

2) This one time? My former boss drunk-dialed me.

You would just have to work where I work to understand this.

And yes, it was a woman.

And yes, it was hilarious.


3) I have an almost painful obsession with Googling people that I used to know.

Sometimes? I google pictures of Jason's ex-girlfriends? And I email them to my friends? And I say, "I'm prettier than her, aren't I?" and they always say yes.

I guess I should be ashamed of that but sadly, I am not.


4) I think porn, for the most part, is hysterically funny.

I can't even justify that. I just think it's funny. I don't think sex is funny. But porn cracks me right up.


5) I talk a big game, but I'm really pretty chill.

For the most part? If you are not me or my spouse or my children? I don't give two craps what you do. If you want to dance around and drink martini's off somebody's butt, help yourself. I could give a crap.

I don't care what political party you support. I don't care if you eat meat or not. I don't care if you are fat or thin or inbetween. I don't care if you wear fur. I don't care if you have fake nails or are poor or live in a tanning bed. I don't judge you if you go to church or don't go to church. Hell, I don't even look down on you if you like Paris Hilton.

You are who you are. And I'm cool with that.

If you're a pedophile or beat your kids or are mean to animals, I have issue with you. And I'm sure there are some other things I have issue with. But for the most part, do your thing honey!


6) I do not understand women who are afraid to date because they are overweight.

I mean no offense, honestly I don't. But your life doesn't start when you get skinny. It's now, today.

And seriously? There are no shortage of men who think a girl with boobs and hips is sexy. I don't know if people watch to much television or what, but this is real life and a lot of men like something to hang onto.

So go out and find one, if that's your thing. For the love of God.


7) I find it hysterically funny when infants flip the bird.

I can't help it. I'm not right.

13 comments:

Kellie said...

Morgan was famous for flipping us the bird when she was a wee baby. I have several pictures of it and it cracs me up :)

La Petite Redhead said...

I am one of those overweight woman who aren't dating until they lose weight.

In this town, the only men that want to date women that have meat on their bones aren't exactly the type you would want to take home to Mama. Hell, they're the type that would look really good...

If you had beer goggles on.

And I don't drink anymore. : )

Stephanette said...

The first thing Cajun Man said to me when we got our sonogram was that it would have been even cooler if the baby had flipped us off as it waved.

Thanks for playing, Chick. I knew that I'd love yours.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Drunk dialing is the best, almost as good as drunk texting. :) And you? A hot mess? Don't tease me. :)

Bethany said...

Scoop flips the bird in that sneaky "I'm really scratching my nose" way.

She is brilliant I tell you.

Captain Steve said...

Babies and nuns. Either one can flip me off, and I will laugh til I cry.

kittyconcerto.com said...

I though I was the only person who though porn was funny! Wait.... and revolting at the same time. But funny wins, usually.

SJ said...

Oh this just shows me Chick that you are super cool!

Which I knew already anyway.

I am Trish Marie said...

You know Emmi signs, right? Well, she also sign babbles. Basically the sign language version of babbling. She mixes in some real signs with some made up ones. Often, she flips us the bird. Always, we giggle.

Karen - Mommy to four sweeties said...

Come on! Share the drunk dial from your FIL.

Kimberly said...

You are such a hoot - love this insight into you.

Priscilla said...

This one time? My boyfriends son hit on me. (I'm not much older than his sons, but still, ewwww)

EE said...

I'm a google freak, too.