Today at school? Boy and Girl Child have a lesson on "Your Changing Bodies".
For real. It's called that. I had to sign a permission slip.
Since we have absolutely no boundaries in our lives or home, we've already discussed this at length. This is pretty much how it went:
Boy Child: Mom? What's this program about my body?
Me: You know. It's about puberty.
Boy Child: Oh. Like getting hair on my cubes?
Boy Child: And under my arms?
Boy Child: And on my legs?
Girl Child: Brother! You already HAVE hair on your legs!
Boy Child: Not like daddy!
Me: True dat.
Boy Child: Mom? Can I ask you a question?
Boy Child: Does puberty hurt?
Me: Not really. It doesn't hurt to grow hair. It might hurt a little if your body grows very quickly. And you might be more emotional.
Boy Child: You mean like crying?
Boy Child: I only cry at sad things. Hair isn't sad mom.
Me: Some people have sad hair. But in general, you are right.
Girl Child: Three girls in my class have got their period mom.
Me: Well that's okay. Some girls get it when they are younger and some get it when they are older.
Boy Child: How old were you when you got it mom?
Me: Well, I was a little older. I don't remember exactly.
Boy Child: Mom! MOM! My friend at school? FriendChild? He said he was going to sit next to me during the presentation because he was scared.
Me, laughing: Friendchild is really funny.
Boy Child: I don't know why he's scared mom. He's already really tall. He probably has hair on his cubes already.
Me: Don't ask him.
Boy Child: Gross mom!
We drive for a few moments and Boy Child says:
Mom? Why would my friend really be afraid?
Me: I think he was kidding.
Boy Child: He doesn't know anything about it mom. I think he's really afraid. Like actually. Not just pretending.
Me: Well, that's why they have the presentation. So you'll understand.
Boy Child: Why didn't his mom just tell him?
Me: I don't know honey. I don't know his mom.
Boy Child, after a few minutes:
Thanks for telling us about it mom.
Me: You're welcome honey.
Girl Child, snorting: Hair on your cubes isn't scary anyway.
True dat, Girl Child. True dat.