Monday, January 12, 2009

Granny panties in Aisle four!

To celebrate the fun of the past few weeks, Jason and I did something very exciting.

We went to Target. To buy Jason new underwear.


I know. Try to hold yourself back.


So we're standing in Target in the underwear section. And I say to Jason, from across the aisle,

"Hey babe? What kind of underwear was it you liked?"

He didn't answer me.

So I thought, logically, he didn't hear me. So I said, even louder,

"Jason? What brand did you like?"

He still didn't respond, so I said, quite loudly, "JASON! WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR DID YOU WANT?"

Jason walked around the aisle and gave me a distinct, "OH MY GOD WOULD YOU SHUT UP?" kind of look.

I don't see that from him frequently. But I know it when I see it.

"What?" I asked.

"WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR DID YOU WANT STEPHANIE?" he asked, loudly.

And it became clear to me that my husband, standing in the middle of the UNDERWEAR AISLE AT TARGET was completely mortified that I was asking him WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR HE WANTED.

At Target. In the underwear aisle. As though everyone there was not ALSO BUYING UNDERWEAR or THINKING ABOUT BUYING UNDERWEAR.

So I said, quite loudly,

"YOU KNOW I DON'T WEAR ANY UNDERWEAR JASON! GOD!"



He doesn't think I'm funny at all.

39 comments:

Sabrina said...

HAHAHAHA! I was in Kmart when I was a teenager and my mom did the same thing. She was like "Sabrina, what size bra do you wear?"...like really loud. It was embarassing. Seriously.

elle said...

AWESOME!!! Good job with the quick thinking too! And why is it that guys get embarassed about that stuff? Like buying my tampons...someone might see him, and what? think they're for him?

Mikey said...

OH heavens, I'm dying here! That's so good, lmao!
whew... composure. I got it. Lol, snicker, choke...

Mikey said...

OH heavens, I'm dying here! That's so good, lmao!
whew... composure. I got it. Lol, snicker, choke...

Amy Bennett said...

OMG. I am crying laughing reading that. I just had to read it out loud to my sister and we were both laughing all over again.

J said...

OMG Chick, you are so freaking funny!! I just died laughing. Thank you so much, Chick, for being the one laugh I know I will get every day.

Mandy said...

that is FREAKING hilarious!

Breigh (Canadutch) said...

haha! Aren't men funny? I had a similar incident years ago when we had only been married about 3-4 years. I told my husband I was going to order him some underwear from the catalog and he got all indignant and went "I am a grown man! I can buy my OWN UNDERWEAR THANK YOU!". On went the shoes and he was out the door.

About 30 mins later I got a phone call and when I answered he whispered "what size underwear do I wear?"

He's NEVER lived that one down.

Kimberly said...

I just freaked out my husband by suddenly laughing out loud. While alone in my office.

He so doesn't get the funny blog friends thing.

Bwahahah!

Tamsyn said...

Now I want to know what kind of underwear Jason wears that he had to be embarrassed about it. 'BANANA HAMMOCK THONGS, STEPHANIE! SEE IF THEY HAVE 'EM IN LEOPARD PRINT!'

Chelle said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAH. You're awesome. I'm going to pee myself from laughter (and excitement) when I read your book, I just know it.

Patience said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

In a former life, I worked in a department store, sometimes in the women's lingerie department. A woman came in with her teenage daughter to buy panties. The daughter had picked out some, but the mother said she needed to get cotton ones instead. In a loud voice, the mother announced "If you wear those kind of panties you could get a vagina infection."

The daughter somehow dug a hole into the floor of the store and simply disappeared, never to be heard from again.

Sharon said...

HAHAHA!

Inquiring minds want to know...what kind did he buy?

Betsey Booms said...

I'm pretty sure that me and my Jason have had this same experience.

He never thinks I'm funny.

Lynnbug said...

Awesome!

SJ said...

Well, I think you are super funny and I totally laughed at that!!

Sounds like something my husband would do to me in the feminine hygeine aisle at Target when he's asked very loudly (on more than a few occasions) from an aisle or so away what kind of tampons I needed.

My.God. FUNNY.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

That is freakin' spectacular!

Rottie_mom said...

OMG tooo funny LOL

Ammie said...

Oh thank you! I needed that laugh this morning. Good thing the rest of us think your funny. Tell Jason the internet said to suck it. :)

Allie said...

So freakin' funny!!!

hahahahahaha!

Lil Mouse said...

giggle. awesome.

Quiskaeya said...

That is absolutely crazy hilarious! I discovered your blog from 5 minutes for mom. Cool blog, me likes. :)

Danger said...

That's the MOST HILARIOUS thing I've read this month. Kudos to you and your awesomeness!

NGS said...

I would never have the guts to say that out loud. Awesome!!!

Dan said...

Great answer. You are far braver than I.

Robyn said...

Thank you for making LOL at my desk!

In Jason's defense, I'm just as immature when in the "feminine products" aisle. Where MY husband will yell to me, WHAT KIND OF TAMPONS DO YOU LIKE???

I feel Jason's pain.

Rachel said...

Bwaaaaaaaahahahahaha! That's fucking hilarious! Funniest thing I've read all damn day!

MDA said...

And to think. . .I get to go to the symphony with you! :)

Angie said...

That was actually me on that last post. I didn't realize I was logged in as Mark. Oops.

Oscar said...

That's funny! Now I would have answered you...." The flavored ones", or 'spongebob boxers" (which btw I do own.

Reluctant Housewife said...

I think you're funny.

very.

Like fall of my chair big belly laugh funny.

A Spot of T said...

Underwear brings me out of lurk mode. I'm so pathetic. But I just about fell off my chair reading this!! Something I would do to my hubby except Gregg would not have answered at all and just walked away.

Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity said...

So totally something I would do... :D You crack me up.

And way to go on the book. I was notified on Friday that Soliloquy bought it for me for my birthday.. so now I get to celebrate my birthday again when it comes!

I can't wait to read it! Oh and the question you asked me on my blog a gazillion years ago? I've answered it. It will be up tomorrow.
So happy for you!

Karin's Korner said...

Well I for one think you are hilarious!!!!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Bwha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Good on ya, hon!

Jadekitty said...

:) De-lurking.. you are very funny!

PaintedPromise said...

ok i just about fell off my chair laughing. i can so totally see you doing this...

12ontheinside said...

HAHA! I just about laughed my ass off at that. Top comeback.

velocibadgergirl said...

Marry me.