Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Sometimes, it's just you.

I was de-friended on Facebook recently. Twice.

One person that decided I was no longer her friend? Well, frankly it made me laugh. Because, um, well, I'm not going to say because remember my New Year's goal of being a better person? I think I would probably not only be a bad person if I said but also probably lose my testimony and who wants that? Not me and not Jesus. That much I can tell you.

The other person who unfriended me used to be my friend about 200 years ago. She later became friends with a girl I hated. I noticed that this girl was on her list of friends, but um, so what? I mean, hello, the last time I saw her or any of these other people was when we were all in high school and wasn't that quite some time ago? Aren't we adults now?

Apparently, some of us are not adults. Probably myself included because here I am blogging about it, but whatever.

I found out, from a "friend" of a "friend" (as much as "friends" are on Facebook, for the love of God), that this gal who defriended me? Did so at the request of the girl I hated. You know. In high school. Fifteen years ago.


And why did I hate her? I can't remember. I'm sure she did something or said something and there was a lot of drama involved. I don't know what that something was, but I know I hated her. As, apparently, she hated me. And still does I guess.

I don't hate her anymore, though.

I just don't care about her at all.

And frankly? I'm totally amazed she would give two craps about me.

I never got that, I suppose. When I had been out of high school about five years I got a random email from a girl that I was in choir with. I asked her if she remembered someone we both knew and she said, "What kind of car did he drive?"

I wasn't even sure what kind of car *I* drove, probably. Much less anyone else's car. Moreover? I didn't care. I didn't care then and I care even less now.


I am a bit dumbfounded, frankly, as to why anyone from high school would care about me. Or if I was "friends" with someone else on Facebook.

30 comments:

AndreAnna said...

One of my favorite lessons from my mother was "Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is."

You're the only one who doesn't care, which is to say that you matter more to these losers than they do to you.

Saphira said...

some people just never grow up and enter this thing called "real life adult world". I know a couple of those myself!

courtneyryan369 said...

I love trying to figure out who unfriended me. I figure if I can't see it right away, does it really matter?

I was just talking about this with my mom the other day (she's thinking about joining facebook) and how I really don't care if people are my friends or not. I gave up popularity contests years ago.

I wish adults out there could be more adult like.

Rock on with your Adult Self!

Sabrina said...

That's what I hate about facebook. Yet another avenue where people can continue to be mean to you. I don't keep track of who unfriends me or whatever. I don't care. I often decline friend invites too. :)

Scout's Honor said...

I don't accept any face book friends unless they are people I have talked to in person or on the phone in the last year or at least exchanged a Christmas card with regularly.

I will occasionally accept a blogging friend that I trust. I decline 99.9% of high school requests. I don't even accept neighbors.

It makes Facebook so much more enjoyable to be ina trusted circle of friends and family.

I know people that have bajillions of friends on facebook. I figure that is what Twitter is for.

Facebook is for me only. I have defriended a couple of people that I realized I have nothing in common with and were prolific commentors on FB. No offense. Juts didn't interest me at this time in my life. And? I honestly wouldn't know if someone defriended me. Indifference. that about sums it up. I don't take it personally.

It sounds like unfortunately you had some friends still living in high school. Pity them.

Regards,
Scout's Honor
http://unitedstatesofmotherhood.com

SJ said...

I love AndreAnna's quote - so true. So true!!

I've been de-friended before on Facebook and really, life goes on....

As other people have commented, bottom line is this, some people just never grow up!

Angie said...

I have a similar story, but I'm just too tired to type it. How patethetic is that?

You're still my friend. . . and I just accepted a friend request from someone that knows you. So, I'm hoping that all works out! :)

Teena in Toronto said...

What are they ... like 12? I can't like you if you like them?!

Moxie said...

I agree with the quote about indifference.

Sheesh, I can't imagining mattering to someone so much that they'd go through the trouble of actually telling someone, "Um, hey, can you delete That Chick because I didn't like her when I was a hormonal teenager."

People need to get a life!

Your new Facebook message should be from the words of Ron Burgundy (I love Will Farrell. I can't help myself!) "I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal."

Wenderina said...

Another reason why Facebook totally sucks.

judy in ky said...

High school? What was that? I can't even remember back that far! I grew up and moved on... thank goodness!

Lil Mouse said...

i dont care who anyone else's friends are on facebook. the only people i de-friended are ones that were in a group that i never got to be a part of, basically because they got to be a part of an exclusive club i wasn't invited into, namely grad school. i dont give 2 craps about any of the aholes i went to school with, but i have found that since i love my life and didnt back then, that they mattered more then. now they dont really matter. i hope they have good lives and teach their kids better than their parents taught them.. thats about it..

Lil Mouse said...

it also helps knowing that no matter what happens in their lives, they dont really seem to be growing up. i pity them.

Rebecca said...

HAHA! I think its hilarious that anybody would hold a grudge for that long. Hilarious in a sad pathetic kind of way.

Twisted Cinderella said...

Some people just don't know when to grow up and move on.

Keetha said...

Oh, that is rich. How funny.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

The only person I've ever de-friended on myspace or facebook is a high school classmate who left his wife and two little girls for the skank with whom he'd been carrying on an affair for two years - who just so happens to be my brother's trashtastic ex-girlfriend. I didn't want to associate with him any more!

I think that was justified. Your former "friend?" Oh please. You don't need her crap. Because you have cool Facebook friends like me!!!!

Modern Princess said...

I have a theory that some people will always live in a high school world. And "social sites" like facebook and myspace give those people more outlets to live in high school than they would otherwise.

Kind of reminds me of that jingle...

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a toysrus kid...

Kimberly said...

Ugh. Highschool was like, so yesterday girlfriend.

Yeesh.

Kiki said...

Facebook has taught me that some people never grow up. Just laugh at them. You are so much better without them on your list. I'm still your friend! :-)

Anonymous said...

You know? It makes me wonder about the people who had an effect on my life and didn't even realize they did... and the people I have undoubtedly affected without knowing it either.

I don't even know what to say... I'd be weirded out by it too... and yet there are people who I felt mistreated by in the past where I am still uncomfortable around them--people who would treat me badly in order to elevate their own position in the pecking order somehow... and I... You know what? I'd probably just un-friend myself around those people rather than ask someone else to unfriend the other person, lol.

You're right to just let it go. If you can't even remember what it involved, forget it. love, V

elle said...

I just got on the facebook bandwagon, and it's fascinating and frightening. I keep wondering how I'm going to feel when someone turns down my friend request. but then, I've been careful to only request people that I actually care about. Seems to be working well. But that "social network" stuff is interesting, no? Don't let a little defriending get you down.

Jo said...

Yup! I personally dont care anymore whether somebody ignores my friend request or terminates our 'facebook friendship'. Like its any skin off my nose? But it still makes you wonder why... a little.
An old school friend requested me a few months ago and after many conversations catching up on the 'Wall' I saw a message she had posted to someone else incinuating that I was nosey and asked too many questions!! Hmm. So why bother?

It has been a handy tool tho in catching up with those old friends that I truly treasured. This social networking does have its pros.

CPA Mom said...

Dude. I can't remember last week, let alone high school.

I've defriended people who have hurt me in real life. I don't want to give them an outlet to continue to hurt me - protecting myself - if that's not being a grown up I don't know what is.

Lynnbug said...

I just blogged about Facebook and all the people from high school coming out of the woodwork to be my "friend." And my dumb ass accepted them just to see what it was all about. Well, we werent really friends then and we arent now. So, I just ignore facebook for the most part.

Suzy said...

Someone just called me a two-faced bitch in an email and I asked him to call me so we could sort it all out. He, instead, wrote me another hateful email and accusd me of being in high school. Bullies are so annoying.

That's why I like the blogger friend option. They can not follow me and I then get to unfollow them. No bad names exchanged.

Missy said...

I got "Friend Dumped" one time...he went through the process of arranging a meeting and explaining he didn't want to be my friend...it was entertaining for me...all I could say was "Well, huh?!?!?... OK" It was for the best... Hang in there...can't believe people are still so high school....

Allie said...

People are so funny...and childish sometimes.

Amy W said...

Huh, I was defriended recently too, and then refriended, how crazy is that??

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Wow. That's amazingly childish and if that happened to me, I would probably shoot off a nasty e-mail. But that's just me, being infantile myself. :)