Friday, January 23, 2009

Wonderful tonight.

I've been so stressed out lately. I'm sure it's apparent why.

I was going to cook dinner and my husband said, "Let's just go out".

So we did.

Nothing special or fancy, just fast food. We sat down, though, and talked to the children about how their week went, how they hope next week goes, and what is going on in their lives.

I felt my mind wandering, at first. I wondered about my Amazon rank. I wondered if I would get the numbers from Barnes and Noble sales tonight. I wondered if the idea I had for the next book would go over.

And then? I wondered why I was wondering.

And I stopped.
And I started listening.


Because all of this? All this crazy stuff? Is nothing compared to the moments I have talking to my son, my daughter, and my husband. Over a chicken sandwich on a hard plastic table.

I'll write more books. I'll have more moments of panic and stress. I'll struggle with my feelings, my edits, my rewrites, and titles.

But I will never again have two children who are 10 years, 10 months, and 2 days old who want to talk to me about Star Wars. Never again, after tonight.

Jason tuned his satellite radio to the 70's station on our drive home. A song came on that I hadn't heard in a very long time:



I want to thank you for letting me be myself again
I want to thank you for letting me be myself again

Dance to the music
All night long
Everyday people
Sing their simple song
Mama's so happy
Mama starts to cry
Papa's still singing
You can make it if you try

I want to thank you for letting me be myself again
I want to thank you for letting me be myself again






My heart could burst from all of it. From every little moment.

4 comments:

Keetha said...

Sometimes I think that's most of the battle, right there - remembering what really matters. Sounds like you're doing just great. :-)

Angie said...

You are doing amazingly awesomely wonderfully well.

Yeah, I'm an aspiring writer, too! :)


(I've missed "talking" to you this week!)

Kim said...

"But I will never again have two children who are 10 years, 10 months, and 2 days old who want to talk to me about Star Wars. Never again, after tonight."

You get it, Girl. You really, really get it!

I can't wait till I hear the delivery guy drop your book on my front porch!

SJ said...

So true Chick, so true! I have to remind myself often to stop and listen.

As Kim said above, you really do get it.

xoxo