The Octuplet mom thing? Is kind of getting to me.
This woman is my age. She has fourteen children.
I'm ashamed to say how much news coverage I have watched of this woman lately. I watched both days of the Dr. Phil special on her (thank you TiVo) and I was so struck by so many things about her:
1) People HATE HER AND WANT HER DEAD.
2) She has a lot of excuses for what she did, but no real plan for how she's going to support all those kids.
3) This gal is getting a degree in counseling, apparently. I am confused as to who she thinks will want counseling from someone who has pretty obvious mental issues.
4) Bless her heart.
5) Bless all those children's heart.
6) Bless her mother's heart.
7) Good God.
I had two babies at the same time, and no husband. My parents, my older brother, and my sister and her now-husband were all around me and all helped me feed a baby, change a baby, and play with a baby. They gave me a break so I could have a bath. They made sure that I had time to do things. Important things like use the restroom and eat.
Did I have all the support I wanted and needed? No. Of course not. But I had a heck of a lot less kids than this mom and, seemingly, a lot more support.
And I almost lost my mind.
There were times that I could not do anything but lay on my face and cry. There were times that I seriously thought, "I cannot get through this day". There were times when I would achingly wonder how I had gotten to the point I was at and what I was going to do next.
And I only had two. Twelve less than this mom.
I know people hate her. I know she is a very polarizing figure. I know that people are furious about what she has done. She gets death threats. People wish her uterus would fall out and her babies would die.
I don't think what she did was right, at all. I don't think she made good choices. I think she didn't think it through. I think she was selfish and focused on what she wanted and wasn't thinking about those kids she already has and hasn't been able to support. And? I think she had babies because she wanted someone to love her.
That being said:
I didn't make good choices in my life. I married someone I knew didn't love me. I have been so selfish and so desperate for a child that I was willing to put my own life at risk and potentially leave my two children without a mother, because I wanted it so badly. I had two children when I had no husband, no job, and no education. And? I had a baby (well, two) because I wanted someone to love me.
So. There's that. Judge not lest ye be judged and all that.
I don't know. I just don't know.
There are so, so many things wrong with this situation. It's seriously scary and awful and I feel my chest tighten up whenever I think about it. And yes, I think about what she's done wrong and all of her bad choices, but I also think about how desperate and scared and lonely this poor woman must have been, to do these things. And God yes, she's selfish. Ridiculously so. But how could someone be so lacking? So needy? What on Earth could drive her to this point?
I don't know. But I do know I feel sad for those 14 little children. Who, unwittingly were born to be their mother's saviors.
It's a hell of a burden to put on a kid.
And I know that much to be true.