Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I forget.

I know this may be hard to believe but sometimes? I forget I'm fat.

I wake up in the morning and my knees hurt. Because I forget I'm fat and I run.

I forget that I'm fat and I turn the elliptical up a level.

I forget that I'm fat and I ride the bike for an hour.

I don't run and hide from anything because I feel like I'm not okay. I mean, I don't necessarily think I'm okay, at all, but it's more about my utter craziness than my weight.

Other people are sometimes fond of reminding me. But I? Sometimes forget.

Sometimes I think about it all the time. Sometimes it consumes me. Sometimes all I can think about is what I eat and what I don't eat and what I will allow myself to eat.

But sometimes? When I'm dancing around the room with my husband and I feel light as air?


I just forget.

18 comments:

jill said...

:-)

Bethany said...

I know what you mean. Wish I forgot more often though.

ladystang_gt said...

i never forget and so wish i could- it consumes me ALL THE TIME! i am always thinking (even while i am eating something that is a "no-no")
about it and the guilt from eating the "no-no" is instantaneous! it really stinks! (my conscious i mean)

Heather said...

Good for you! I need to be less consumed with my weight and focus more on bigger, more important things.

mythoughtsonthat said...

I am glad that you forget sometimes....

Patience said...

I'm afraid I have never forgotten that. Even when I wasn't. It's a real wonder I didn't end up with a major eating disorder because I've always been obsessed with either being fat or with becoming fat.

Rottie_mom said...

Forgetting is good. Im fat too and need to loose 135 lbs to get back to my pre-marriage weight. My mom really likes to remind me that Im fat. Hello like I can't see it when I look in the mirror or feel it with my knees hurting.

Go you!

Lynnbug said...

I dont think your fat.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

I think you're hot!

Danger said...

Maybe it's not so much you forget you're fat as you remember you're awesome.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

You're not fat. You're beautiful. And that's a fact. :)

Tiffany said...

i always froget too..the only time i really remember that im fat is when its time to buy clothes and everything in the fat ladies section looks like grandma wear.yuck!

Lara said...

It's good to remember the things that are important, and to forget the things that really don't matter. :)

Anonymous said...

Too bad no one else around you can forget fatass.

athena said...

You are so blessed. I know you don't give yourself enough credit and you feel less than everyone else, but it sounds like you are a pretty great person with a really great man to love you. I wish the love of my life would dance with me because I believe that could heal my soul.

Stephanie said...

Awesome!

squishytushy said...

If I was a smiley-face type of person, I'd leave one here & now.

Happy Happy!

EE said...

Amazing post!