As much as I absolutely hate this growing up crap, I have to admit that I've had a lot of moments of absolute clarity lately.
It's nice, in some ways. In some ways it sucks butt, mind you. But I'm also learning a lot and changing and figuring a lot of things out. Important things like:
Always keep yourself busy so you'll stay out of everyone else's business
Because, I've realized, I don't have time to worry about other's people's crap. I have enough of my own crap to deal with.
It doesn't matter if I behave like an assfaced whore, there are always people who love me.
Really? I shouldn't behave like an assfaced whore. But everyone has a moment sometimes so I'm giving myself a pass. I can't be good all the time. I just can't.
Life is short.
I know. Profound, right?
Yesterday I became the mother of eleven-year old twins. And while I have moments at work and during exercise in which I feel as though time has completely stopped, in all reality the last eleven years of my life have absolutely flown by. In a few years they'll be out on their own, God willing, and I'll have to look back on my life as their mother, and see how I've done. And I don't want to screw them up.
So I'm learning. I'm trying.