Yesterday, I wanted to call my dad. It was Memorial Day and I wanted to call him and thank him, like I do on Veteran's Day.
I mentioned it to the children and my son immediately said, "No. Let's not."
I was surprised and asked him why and he said, "Because he doesn't like the war. He doesn't like talking about the war. It makes him sad. I don't want to make him sad."
So we didn't call.
Today, I wish we had called.
Because I know. War is Hell. It's far more Hell than I will ever know. I really hate that my dad hurts, still. Almost forty years later.
But I like even less that my dad doesn't know how much I appreciate his sacrifice so that I can live in a free country.
It's that. It's other things too. Things like the fact that my dad didn't talk about it for years and years...doesn't talk about it now. How he's so much more than a Veteran. How he rescued me, eleven years ago, from a house where I was slowly losing most of my mind and all of my self-esteem.
Ironically? It was Memorial Day weekend.
He was my hero. I didn't know it then, I guess. But he was.
He still is. For so many reasons.
So Happy Memorial Day Dad. I'm proud of you for everything you've done and everything you are.
I'm sorry I didn't say it yesterday. Because I know that even though it still hurts, you need to know.
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- You might also know me as Stephanie Snowe. I'm a mom, a wife, a writer, and a blogger. Oh and people think I'm hilarious and they are right.
3 comments:
Oh, hon.
When my father was alive, I would call him. I know what you mean. Even though he hated being at war, you still do what you feel like doing. And if that means calling? Then do it.
Thanks for keeping our freedoms safe, Dad!
send a card. I usually send my dad one on veterans day. I think I forgot this year. I was busy at that time. BUT--even a thank you card or a scribbled note from the kids will be touching and he can 'deal' with it at home without being sappy or sobby on the phone. not sure if he would sob or not. but anyway, point is that you can do something special. my dad went to the cemetery to the MD service. He refuses to be honored as a veteran though, he says he's not 'ready' for it, although he's old enough to retire and also was a Vietnam vet who served 2 tours and shouldn't have. He still doesnt' talk about it. I was shocked he went to the service, maybe he hopes someone will remember him like that one day. who knows. I know enough not to ask. point is, dont hold out specifically because of fear. do something, something safe, to honor, to cherish..
You dad is lucky to have a daughter who not only feels these things, but has the talent to put her feelings into words so beautifully.
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