Saturday, July 18, 2009

Gratuitous child embarrassment post!

So yesterday? I took the children to the store to get a few things for...

DAH-DAH-DUMMMMMM

Back-to-school.


(I know. Wah, wah, wah. I'll shut up now.)


Anyway, one of the things that Girl Child has determined she needs is a bra. Her body has not quite caught up with that determination, but she is pretty sure that all the sixth grade girls will have bras and she'll probably need one too.

And honestly? She's probably right. Last year she brought home a newsletter from her class and I looked at the pictures and said, "Are these the classroom aide's?" and Girl Child said, "Mom! That's Shananaynay! She's in my CLASS! She's TEN!" and Shananaynay? Totally had huge boobs. Huge!

My own boobs? Sort of just appeared one day. One day I had no boobs. The next day I was trying to keep my arms crossed in gym class so I didn't give myself black eyes. It was REALLY BAD.

I don't want Girl Child to have to deal with this. I really don't. It is easier to buy her a small piece of white elastic that looks more like a large Ace bandage than an actual bra.

But the store? Yeah. They have different ideas of what a little girls bra is than I do.

Because the Girl Child? Picked up something that was lacy and had fringe on it.
Then? She picked up a really cute bra that had frogs on it. AND IT WAS PADDED.

"I really like this one," she told me.

"But honey...it's padded."

"What does that mean?"

I had her feel of it. Meanwhile, the Boy Child is DYING and trying to pretend he doesn't know us. So, I held it up and said loudly, "LOOK BOY CHILD! IT'S PADDED! DO YOU WANT TO FEEL IT?" Because that's just good parenting.

Anyway. I explained to her that, when you are eleven years old at least, we don't fake what God gave us. And she picked up a very cute, very flat, very stretchy little white piece of elastic with a pink bow on it.

I came home and told Jason about the padded bras and he nearly died. Seriously. He was horrified.

"SHE'S ELEVEN!" he shrieked.

"I know."

"ELEVEN STEPHANIE!"

"I know Jason."

"That reminds me of the time that we went to get her school clothes before kindergarten and all the underwear was STRIPPER UNDERWEAR!"

"Jason. It had sparkles on it. And how do you know what strippers wear?"

"WE HAVE CABLE STEPHANIE! I KNOW THINGS!"


So. I'm thinking Jason's pretty much going to lock the Girl Child in her room in a few years.



Not really. But I'm kind of thinking it might not be a bad idea either.





This parenting stuff is HARD y'all.

21 comments:

Chelle said...

awww, how nice that you tried to include Boy Child in the bra buying experience :D Because really, that is GREAT parenting!

And my J. has already told me that any Girl Children we have (if/when) will be locked in their rooms and not allowed to date til they're 30. I don't think he's even thought about the buying of bras or *gasp* feminine products.

Kimberly said...

We have cable...I know things... Seriously, Stephanie, I laughed out loud at that one.

mean stepmom said...

Padded froggie bras are not so bad, compared to some lingerie I've seen in the mall.

I'm having the opposite problem. My SD wants the cutesy padded teenybopper bras, but she's a 38C! It's not working out.

Reluctant Housewife said...

I remember when my niece was around 3, I was shopping for a birthday gift for her and noticed the underwear they had for little girls... They had THONGS! For 3 year olds!

I still haven't quite recovered from the shock.

Miss Remmers said...

Absolutely, by FAR, the funniest thing I've read all week! Haha Thank you!

edbteach said...

I am facing this same struggle. My daughter just turned 11 and had worn a bra for a couple of years. I, too, am horrified at what they sell in the girls bra/underwear section!!

Parenting is hard and I don't think it's going to get any easier! :(

Twisted Cinderella said...

Very funny and oh so true.

NinjaMom said...

I'm highly disturbed when I see toddler shoes with heels when my two year old and I go shopping. I don't get it. You're only young once, but you're old forever. Enjoy the young part.

And I had to have a training bra at age 9! It wasn't padded though. They do that??? argh

julie said...

SO not looking forward to this stage...

the planet of janet said...

see, here's the thing about middle school and girls:

they change into gym clothes.

if you don't wear a bra, then you are totally nakies in the locker room.

the roo-girl got bras when she entered 6th grade. she had no boobs, but her argument (about changing in the locker room) totally made sense.

and *i'm* such an excellent mom that i got her a little padding for good measure! ;-)

Nen said...

sounds like that girl from school drinks a little to much hormone-induced milk!!

glad to hear girl-child wasn't overly obsessed with getting the padded kind! a lot of kids seem to throw a fit if they don't have what "so and so" has!!

Halala Mama said...

You have a great attitude about it - and the right one, I think. I just saw a pic on FB of a former eighth graders fifteenth birthday party. She and her friends looked like 19 year old college freshmen. I was really surprised.

Carolyn said...

ROFLMAO!!! I see we attended the same parenting school.

Jenski said...

DYING laughing her. Good luck to you, but with the kids growing up and humoring Jason. :-)

jill said...

I agree that all the little girls' clothing is either A character related to mass market or B stripper esqe, or I guess C a combination of the two. I hate it.

Mikey said...

Amen to that. Just the shopping by itself is enough to kill a person. And this panty thing goes both ways. I picked up a package of Bambi/Thumper panties, size 8 right? In kids? NO. Those are adult size 8 Bambi panties, which I'm still wearing cause I was dumb enough to buy them. My other half says they are NOT sexy. Gotta agree there..

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

A bra is a necessity in 6th grade. I still have trauma in my mind over the stress I had during gym when I had to change and I? Didn't have a bra. (Didn't need one....) I was teased incessantly for about 5 months before my mom finally figured out my lame attempts to tell her what I wanted. I was too embarrassed to say "I want a bra." :( They TEASED me. A lot. I even went to the extent of stealing my mom's pantyhose, and pulling them WAY up so that the seam was at about bra height so that when the other kids would feel my back, they'd feel the line. THEY DID IT and they KNEW I WAS TRYING TO TRICK THEM.

See? Traumatized. STILL.

Anne-Kathrine said...

Have to say this was one of the funniest posts lol. Oh the great bra shopping. I was a late bloomer and felt no need to wear bras until I had to lol. I think I was living in Switzerland at the time (13 or so) and mom took me to a lingery shop where the woman measured me. I was about to die LOL.

marythemom said...

LOL!

My daughter has always been big for her age. When she was 10 she was wearing adult sizes - so hard to find appropriate swim suits that are not "gross, Mom!"

She turned 13 this Saturday. She's 5'10" and wears MEN shoes size 13! Finding appropriate shoes for my "little" girl to wear to chapel is virtually impossible. Tennies are easy, flip flops are fine for the Summer. If I'm willing to pay hundreds of dollars I can find shoes that fit - but only on the internet (we're broke). Even so, most of them are transvestite hooker heels and apparently all the rest are "gross!"

As for bras when you are undeveloped - my Mom made me wear undershirts. Made me sooo popular in middle school.

Good luck!

Beyond Alice said...

Ooooh....I am SO scared of this part of parenting! But WHAT a funny story!!! It reminds me of when I was 12, and my mom told my dad in front of me that she had just bought me some bras. I was MORTIFIED.

Sabrina said...

Jason completely cracks me up!