So yesterday? I took the children to the store to get a few things for...
(I know. Wah, wah, wah. I'll shut up now.)
Anyway, one of the things that Girl Child has determined she needs is a bra. Her body has not quite caught up with that determination, but she is pretty sure that all the sixth grade girls will have bras and she'll probably need one too.
And honestly? She's probably right. Last year she brought home a newsletter from her class and I looked at the pictures and said, "Are these the classroom aide's?" and Girl Child said, "Mom! That's Shananaynay! She's in my CLASS! She's TEN!" and Shananaynay? Totally had huge boobs. Huge!
My own boobs? Sort of just appeared one day. One day I had no boobs. The next day I was trying to keep my arms crossed in gym class so I didn't give myself black eyes. It was REALLY BAD.
I don't want Girl Child to have to deal with this. I really don't. It is easier to buy her a small piece of white elastic that looks more like a large Ace bandage than an actual bra.
But the store? Yeah. They have different ideas of what a little girls bra is than I do.
Because the Girl Child? Picked up something that was lacy and had fringe on it.
Then? She picked up a really cute bra that had frogs on it. AND IT WAS PADDED.
"I really like this one," she told me.
"But honey...it's padded."
"What does that mean?"
I had her feel of it. Meanwhile, the Boy Child is DYING and trying to pretend he doesn't know us. So, I held it up and said loudly, "LOOK BOY CHILD! IT'S PADDED! DO YOU WANT TO FEEL IT?" Because that's just good parenting.
Anyway. I explained to her that, when you are eleven years old at least, we don't fake what God gave us. And she picked up a very cute, very flat, very stretchy little white piece of elastic with a pink bow on it.
I came home and told Jason about the padded bras and he nearly died. Seriously. He was horrified.
"SHE'S ELEVEN!" he shrieked.
"I know Jason."
"That reminds me of the time that we went to get her school clothes before kindergarten and all the underwear was STRIPPER UNDERWEAR!"
"Jason. It had sparkles on it. And how do you know what strippers wear?"
"WE HAVE CABLE STEPHANIE! I KNOW THINGS!"
So. I'm thinking Jason's pretty much going to lock the Girl Child in her room in a few years.
Not really. But I'm kind of thinking it might not be a bad idea either.
This parenting stuff is HARD y'all.