Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I heart the gym.

Earlier than the butt crack of dawn used to be the perfect time to go to the gym. In a lot of ways, it still is. It's much quieter then and there are a lot less people. There are a lot of sweaty guys lifting weights and grunting loudly, but they are pretty ignorable (and believe me, they are far more interested in themselves than anything I'm doing). Also, and probably my favorite, parking is no issue at 4:45am. And the girl working the desk is not a size negative zero. Which is always a bonus.

There is person who comes in at the same time as me now and this person doesn't like me.

I can't quite figure out why. I always say "Good morning" to this individual and smile. Maybe it's NOT a good morning in their world because they always scowl at me when I say it. And they never say it back. EVER.

So I pretty much ignore this person, which is my M.O. for all things unpleasant in my life.

But today? The person sneezed

And I have this thing. I can't let someone sneeze and not say anything. I don't think their soul is going to escape or anything, but for some reason I am compelled to say SOMETHING.

So I said, "God bless you!"

And they scowled (big shock) and said, "I don't believe in God!"

And instead of just not saying anything, which is what I should probably do in most situations, I said, "Well then. Satan bless you!"



I'm probably going to get kicked out of the gym y'all. It won't be good.

27 comments:

Chelle said...

did they comment after the Satan comment? Or maybe it made them realize just how snark-tastic they were being.

I loved going to the gym in the morning as well. if i did nothing else that day, at least I could say i had accomplished that much.

Heather said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roxanne said...

You just made my day with this. Thanks!

kristi said...

That reminds me of a cartoon I once saw.

God was sneezing in the cartoon.

So what do you say to GOD when he sneezes?? LOL!

CPA Mom said...

dude. I laughed OUT LOUD. Satan bless you. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Reluctant Housewife said...

Wow. That person sounds like they're so unhappy.

'Satan bless you!' That's awesome. I love how you speak up.

People who don't believe in god usually don't believe in satan either... I can't imagine you'll get kicked out of the gym.

the Snarky Lady said...

I must remember this!

Midlife Mama said...

That was the funniest damn thing I've read in a long time!

And this has nothing to do with your post today? But when I read this? I thought of you. There's a great website called F-my life where people post snippets of things that happen to them that totally suck and makes their life f'ed. (www.fmylife.com). Well I saw this and had to share with you. I KNOW you'd appreciate it.

This person wrote:
"Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML"

LOL!!!

mythoughtsonthat said...

Oh! Great response!

FUZZARELLY said...

I don't know. Not believing in god(s) anymore, I am apt to say - Wipe that snot off the equipment. Douchbag.

Mikey said...

You are so damn funny! Thanks for giving me my laugh of the day :) You just keep being you, lol.

Kimberly said...

It would almost be worth it to have pulled off a fab line like that. I feel sorry for that person, for many reasons.

mean stepmom said...

You'll definitely get your car keyed for that one! Funny though! LOL

the planet of janet said...

you totally win for comeback of the year.

(also for the category of things-i-wish-i'd-said)

Emma in Canada said...

Thanks for the laugh, I needed that today.

cuteellaisbold said...

You rock out loud. If they kick you out for that then they're a bunch of humorless butt heads.

Sally said...

Stephanie : 1

miserable douchebag with no soul: 0

Tamsyn said...

Well, it IS 4.45 am. I don't think I'm capable of speaking in anything except snarls and grunts at that hour. Maybe Ms or Mr Crankypants doesn't hate YOU specifically, they just hate the universe because they're actually awake at that point.

Tamsyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keetha said...

I love that you had the perfect comeback right on time! I always think of a great zinger a couple of hours later.

AndreAnna said...

LOL. You crack my shit up.

Anne-Kathrine said...

OMG that was too funny. Granted at 4:45am I would be a bit cranky too lol but I'd always say good morning back :)

Jenski said...

Totally sounds like that person should not be going out in public at 5 in the morning?!

Good come back. Satan bless you. :-)

Anonymous said...

I seriously love you.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

What an ass! You want I should kick some butt?

And? Awesome comeback. :)

I am Trish Marie said...

I would so much love to spend the day with you. Although, I am pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face on that one.

SJ said...

Great comeback.

That's all.