Boy Child, at dinner last night reading his fortune cookie: "Today is a sunny day."
Girl Child: DUH.
Boy Child: No, seriously. What does this mean mom?
Me: It means today is sunny.
Boy Child: That's it?
Me: That's it.
Boy Child: This fortune sucks ass.
Boy Child: Hey mom?
Me: Hey, Boy Child.
Boy Child: Mom, do you want to know this?
Me: Um...probably. Go ahead.
Boy Child: I was wondering about your friend's man cats.
Me: Excuse me?
Boy Child: You know? Yesterday? You told us about your friend who had those really large cats?
Boy Child: Yes. Remember?
Boy Child: Remember mom? And you told us about your friend who had those really, really big cats? And you showed us a picture of those kind of cats on the internet?
Me, remembering: Boy Child. That was in 2007.
Boy Child: Was that yesterday?
Me: Boy Child. It's 2009.
Boy Child: Oh.
Boy Child: So can you ask your friend how his man cats are doing?
Me: Okay. Next time I see him.
Boy Child, on the way home: Do you have any pictures of your dad?
Me, surprised: Of course!
Boy Child: Do you have any pictures of when he was about your age? Like you and daddy?
Me: I might...I'll have to look.
Boy Child: Would you look? I want to see what he looked like.
Me: Okay honey.
Boy Child: I saw a picture of when he married mommaw. He had a full set of hair!
Me: A full set, you say?
Boy Child: It was almost like Elvis!
Boy Child: Mom? I heard on King of The Hill this lady said, "I've seen a barrel of pickles in my day!"
Me, giggling: Did you?
Boy Child: Yes! That's funny!
Me, inappropriate as always: Yes it is!
Boy Child: Have you seen a barrel of pickles in your day mom?
Boy Child, loudly: My mom's seen a barrel of pickles in her day!
Me: I wouldn't call it a barrel son. Maybe a bag.
Boy Child: Oh. Okay.
Boy Child, to Girl Child: What's a barrel of pickles anyway?
Girl Child: You know. Penises.
Boy Child: NUH-UH! Gross, Girl Child!
On a completely random note that has nothing to do with the hilarity of this post, a couple of days ago I reached my 1000th post. I totally forgot to mention it because I'm cool like that. But hey. I'm a chatty sack of somebody, aren't I?