Monday, September 14, 2009

Take THAT Biznatch!

That's what my body is saying to me.

Like on Friday? I was moving at 10000 miles a minute, like you know, I always do? And I was walking out the door? And my hand was on the doorknob? And I VOMITED ON MYSELF TOTALLY OUT OF NOWHERE.

Which, in case you were wondering, really freaks out the small children who live here with me.

So I did what you would imagine I would do in this situation. I cleaned up the vomit, changed my shirt, and headed out the door.

This? Was not wise. I could pretty much not move the next morning. I felt like I was swimming in Jell-o. I couldn't stay awake. My temperature skyrocketed.

I was worthless.

So on Sunday? I cleaned my entire house, donated six bags of clothes to the area rescue mission, and walked eleven miles.

I have to stop this. I don't want to be permanently worthless. I see it looming and it ain't pretty.

If you are an overachiever, or a wanna-be overachiever like me, CAN you stop? Is it even possible? Because it doesn't feel possible to me right now.


Kimberly said...

I'm an underachiever by nature, but I know when I -do- really work at it and just go, go, go, the feeling is addictive. Self-respect soars, I feel like a worthwhile person, it's amazing. And then when I stop? I feel like crap.

This is going to sound beyond cheesy, but I think it probably comes down to not liking yourself enough. Like that you don't think you deserve a break. That you have to work amazingly hard to be a worthwhile person and that if you don't, you're not. I don't think there's an easy fix for that.

Maybe a daily journal where you record all that you do so when you have a sick day or what have you, you can look back on your awesomeness. Or maybe choose a reward for yourself for after you've accomplished a set amount. A bubble bath. Some time to read. A night out. Whatever would feel like a treat.

judy in ky said...

Do you think it was H1N1 flu? Because if it was, you are supposed to stay home, you know.
And I don't see why you feel worthless. You aren't.

Debra said...

Stephanie - I'm going to get all up in your grill here.

I'm a healtcare professional. If you push your body when you're ill or push until you get ill, you are going to put yourself down for waaaaay longer than a quick rest or quick virus. Your body is telling you something. Listen to it. Or you are going to be 10x more upset when your body says "that's it ! I'm taking a 2 week break - I tried to warn you sucka!" Think of the headway you'll lose lying in bed for two weeks.

I like you. I'm impressed by what you've accomplished. I'll be bored if you get sick + cannot blog.

I have never treated Stephanie S. currently or in the past and have advised Stephanie S. to seek care with her own healthcare professional.

Anonymous said...

I am not a healthcare professional, but I once played on in a middle school musical . . .

Since I've been laid off, or rather, displaced, I am no good at all. So much has changed. And my classes this semester? All online. So I'm home all the time. I look for jobs online. I blog. And I feel worthless.

So, if you need to slow down, lose your job . . .




My advice is to just take care of yourself, because without you? what would boy and girl childs do? Not to mention Jason, for the love of God.

It is okay to take care of yourself. I give you permission. Relax.


Also? I love you.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

All I'm going to say is that when your body is talking to you, listen. And try your damnedest to take it easy. Seriously.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Hey kiddo?

If you wake up with a 104 degree temperature one day, it is NOT a good idea to walk 11 miles the next day. I know you are motivated and driven and all that jazz, but what would you say to me if I did that? Or to one of your girls at work? You'd tell us to lay off the crack. You need to rest! Seriously, you have got to figure out a way to stop pushing yourself. People can DIE from the flu - I wouldn't even want to DRIVE 11 miles while I had the flu. Take care of yourself, sister friend!

Intelligent Tool said...

That is totally me too, I am sick one day and work out for 3 hours the next. It's sick I know, but it's hard to stop!!!!!
Take care!!

Allie said...

Girl, you need to take a break! I don't know what you're trying to prove, I'm sure everyone here agrees that you are super woman...we also agree that you need to take care of yourself.
Seriously though, take a break, it would totally uber suck if your body decided to shut down while you are doing your walk for boobies. You have a goal and you want to accomplish it but part of achieving that goal is making it to "THE walk." Good luck.

Mikey said...

oooo, must comment. The answer is NO. You can't stop, and the faster and more you go, the more you want to. It's your body enjoying this weight loss. It's like a drug, and you want more more more.
Wade and I discuss the idea of taking a vacation. Ha. We can't sit still long enough to enjoy it, I'm sorry to say. If we aren't "doing something" we can't stand it. The only time we relax is when we collapse from exhaustion.

So keep going. I think you're doing great. If your body wants you to sit down, it'll tell you. Listen, sit and then get back up and do some more.

I'm SO PROUD OF YOU girl! You rock!

Anonymous said...

Oh hon you need to listen to your body! You don't want to end up crashing and end up in the hospital. It's totally ok to take it easy for a couple of days! Hugs!

Danielle said...

Dude - you HAVE to slow down! I mean, when do you actually take the time to enjoy all that you've accomplished?!?!?! How will it be good for your kids to see you get all sick? They'd freak right out I imagine.

herewegokids said...

I say you pretty much can't...I know I never got it until one day....eventually your body just overrides you & goes on strike. It's worth a try though, maybe if you look at it as 'another task to accomplish'! :) Try that tack; planning preventative get-aways of purposeful doing-nothingness for a reason. It truly does rot when you get to the point when no matter how badly you want to do something, you simply can't. Hope you're feeling better.

Priscilla said...

No idea. But I will say this, after dealing with a life threatening illness, I sit my ass down when I'm tired. Life is too blessed short.

BTW I always plan my down time. Books, movies, stitchery, if I'm not asleep I'm doing something.