Still feeling the anniversary vibe...

Gorgeous, yes?

Don't show everyone your business honey.

Mason and Terri's mom tagged me for a meme in which I am to tell 8 facts/habits about myself. I like meme's because they provide me blog fodder on days when I've just spilled my guts out for the last 12 days and am feeling like a bit of an emotional wreck. I like Mason and Terri's mom because there is a hilarious photo of her drinking with the preacher's wife on her blog. I like the way she rolls.

But I'm having a hard time with this meme, because, um, really? I've pretty much spilled the beans on all the major crap about myself.

But in the spirit of, blogginess or whatever, I'll try.

1) I'd like to be a professional storyteller. Yes, there really is such a thing. With guilds and festivals and everything.

I do have to wonder who awards that distinction. Hmm. Apparently you can get a Masters degree in such things (Thanks Google!).

Anyway. My point is, I like to tell stories. I think I'd like to tell stories to children. Not stories about myself, obviously, since I'm not into traumatizing people for life. Just funny stories.

Or something.

2) I'm always jealous and amazed when people say they are going "home" for some holiday or occasion. I don't feel like I have a home, anywhere. Wherever I am with my children and husband is my temporary home, but I don't have a "home" home, if that makes sense. I'm still trying to find where I belong.

3) I talk to my dog like she's a person. I carry on long, one-sided conversations with her.

I swear to Cod, if she starts answering I'm going to crap myself.

4) I am never my truer self than when I am singing in the shower.

5) I've posted here about my bulimia, my mother-in-law, miscarriage, being dumped, being in therapy, and my fat ass, and yet I cannot bring myself to post the number that is my weight. Some things are better left unsaid.

6) I always find it amazing when people say that I am intimidating, because really? I'm probably the least intimidating person you'll ever meet. Everyone I see I say "Hey y'all! How's your mom and them?"

Really. I'm just a rough old girl from East Tennessee. That's all I will ever be, I suppose. When you count Dolly Parton as one of your personal heroes, I don't know that you could ever be anything else.

7) Lately, I'm scared of driving. Which blows because I drive about 90 miles a day. It seems like no matter what I do, I'm waiting for the next accident. I just wear my seatbelt and hope for the best.

8) In my house, your "business" is your penis or vagina. Common usage of this word:

"Girl Child. Close your legs. No one wants to see your business."

When I was little I remember someone (don't remember who, but I remember it being said) who, if anyone had their legs open while they were sitting would say, "Don't take my picture!"

Now that's funny. I don't care who you are.

I don't want my picture took though.



So there you have it. It only took me about two hours.

School Glue Jesus

I said some really crazy stuff this week and I didn’t get a chance to blog about it. Like the other day? I was walking down the hall at work and it's a really long hall so I said to a co-worker, “Do you ever want to do a cartwheel down this hall?” and she’s all like, “I don’t think I can do one anymore.” And so I said, “I could do one, maybe, but I don’t want to. Because I’m angry. And I don’t want to do an angry cartwheel.” And she laughed. And then I said, “Wouldn’t that be an awesome name for a band? Angry Cartwheel?” and then she laughed some more.

And that made me think about this one time that my nephew said he had made a School Glue Jesus and how my sister thought that would be a funny name for a band too.