To be normal.

You know what would be nice?

If I could wake up one day of my life and not be thinking about my ass and how large it is.

Or my stomach and how large it is.

Or my thighs and how large they are.

Or how many Points values something has in it.

Or how I'm going to make it through my work holiday party, which presumably should be a fun good time, because all I'm going to be thinking about is how fattening all the food is.

It would be nice to just be normal. To just wake up and think, "I need to pee" or whatever. To enjoy things like this without worrying about my double chin.

It would be really nice to not slog through the cold, dark rainy days because I feel like I *have* to, instead of because I want to. Trying desperately not to trip and fall on the slick leaves. Feeling like I can't breathe as I climb hills. Knowing the hills are not just a physical challenge, but an emotional challenge as well.

I know this is all normal. I know this is all part of losing weight and coming to terms with everything. I know this.

I just need reassurance that I will do all this and it will work. That someday when I'm happy with my weight that I won't wake up every day and have this consume my thoughts.


I just need to know it's possible.

Snowball truffles!

Okay, so I know that nobody is reading right now. That's cool. You all have lives which are more interesting than mine and you probably have places to be and turkey to cook and all that good stuff. That's cool.

I've been baking.

Since I've also religiously followed Weight Watchers and TOTALLY DIDN'T EVEN BLOW IT on Thanksgiving Day (go me!), I am also packaging all this stuff up to send to places near and far and give to people who can stand to gain some weight. Because I sure can't.

Anyway. I made the easiest truffles EVAH. And here's how I did it.

Snowball Truffles
1 8oz package of cream cheese
1 Package of Bakers semi-sweet chocolate
1 cup Milk Chocolate chips
Powered sugar


Melt 8 chocolate squares as directed on package (basically, I melted mine for 30 second intervals in the microwave). Beat cream cheese with mixer until creamy (you might want to let it sit out of the fridge before you start beating it. Trust me on this one). Blend chocolate and cream cheese together. Cover with plastic wrap and refridgerate until firm.

(I left mine in the fridge about three hours)

Shape mixture in 36 balls.

Heh. I said "balls".


Anyway. Place the balls on a waxed paper covered baking sheet and refridgerate for 1 hour.

(Or you can put them in the freezer for about 20 minutes, like I did)

Melt milk chocolate chips. Use a fork to dip the balls (heh) in the milk chocolate. Generously sprinkle powered sugar on a plate and roll covered balls (BWAH!) in powered sugar.

And there you go.


And okay. They aren't beautiful. I'm not The Pioneer Woman. So sue me.

I also made chocolate peanut-butter fudge. When I remember what I put in it, I might post that as well.

Who does what.

My husband really does a lot around the house and he also really, really enjoys when I praise him for this.

If I don't, in fact, he'll say to me, "Did you notice I vacummed the house/scrubbed the toilets/washed your bathrobe/made up the bed/myraid other things he does every single day?"

And I'll say, "Oh yes, thank you so much!"

And then he smiles.



It's very sweet.


I didn't really notice that the kids noticed how much he does, but they do. Yesterday we made a call to my family to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and I heard my mom ask my daughter, "Did mom make you a nice Thanksgiving meal?"

And The Girl said, "My mom AND my dad did".


Because she knows. Dad does as much as mom in this house.

I really like that.

I like that we don't buy into the roles we're supposed to play. I like that mom brings home the bacon and dad fries it up in the pan (we both bring home the bacon, actually...and I haven't had fried bacon in years). I love that both my children recognize that we're all in this together.

I want, badly, to raise children who believe that things are equal. Not just out in the world, but in the home too.


I like today.