Okay, I'm lying. It's my first post. But the first post is always really boring and annoying, right? It's a post that says something like:
Hi! Welcome to my blog! I have no freaking idea what I'm going to say now! Hehe!
Really, I'm not much of a "hehe" kind of chick. I can't even get it together enough to care right now. I have stuff I want to say and I'm not going to be bothered to introduce myself right now. Now, on to the interesting stuff.
Being a mother of a little boy is really a unique experience. I just put his laundry into the dryer and in the bottom of the washing machine I found:
1) An unopened package of Whoppers (the candy, you know, chocolate malted milk balls?)
2) Two empty Skittles packages
3) A plastic cockroach
4) A plastic dinosaur
5) A plastic glow in the dark bat
So, I called him in.
"Son," I said. "I need to talk to you about your laundry."
"What," says he. "Did I get skidmarks in my boxer shorts again?"
Sweet. God. He's such a man already and only eight years old.
No worse than my daughter, however, who earlier today in the shower gleefully announced, "MOM! I'M DONE! I WASHED MY HAIR AND MY FACE AND MY PENIS!"
"SWEETHEART!" I shouted back. "YOU DON'T HAVE A PENIS!"
"OH I FORGOT! I MEANT MY BAGINA!"
To which my husband replied, "GOD! STOP TALKING ABOUT SEX ORGANS!"
Our neighbors? I imagine they hate us a lot.