911 guy: 9-11, what is your emergency?
Me: Who can I call to report a dangerous driver?
911 guy: I can take the information ma'am. What kind of car is it?
Me: It's a Mitsubishi Gallant.
Guy: Where are you?
Me: Interstate 40.
Guy: East or West?
Guy: At what exit?
Guy: Before it or after it?
Me: I just went past it right this second.
Guy: Do you have a tag number?
Me: Yes sir. It's 9876QQQHSX.
Guy: What state?
Guy: Can you describe how the car is driving dangerously ma'am?
Me: Well, he appears to be making out with his girlfriend.
Silence from guy.
Me: Or she could be his wife. I don't know. But you don't usually see tongue like that when people are married.
Guy: Did you say making out with his wife?
Me: Or girlfriend. But yes. Making out. For sure.
Guy (barely able to contain his laughter): Could I have your name please?
Me: Sure! It's That Chick Over There.
Guy: Okay, we'll send someone out to look at it.
I am happy to report that about forty miles down the road, a state trooper pulled him over and he was caught. With his tongue out.