Sunday, January 07, 2007

9-11 calls I get to make.

911 guy: 9-11, what is your emergency?

Me: Who can I call to report a dangerous driver?

911 guy: I can take the information ma'am. What kind of car is it?

Me: It's a Mitsubishi Gallant.

Guy: Color?

Me: Pewter.

Guy: Where are you?

Me: Interstate 40.

Guy: East or West?

Me: Eastbound.

Guy: At what exit?

Me: Um...365.

Guy: Before it or after it?

Me: I just went past it right this second.

Guy: Do you have a tag number?

Me: Yes sir. It's 9876QQQHSX.

Guy: What state?

Me: Alabama.

Guy: Can you describe how the car is driving dangerously ma'am?

Me: Well, he appears to be making out with his girlfriend.

Silence from guy.

Me: Or she could be his wife. I don't know. But you don't usually see tongue like that when people are married.

Guy: Did you say making out with his wife?

Me: Or girlfriend. But yes. Making out. For sure.

Guy (barely able to contain his laughter): Could I have your name please?

Me: Sure! It's That Chick Over There.

Guy: Okay, we'll send someone out to look at it.

Me: Thanks.

I am happy to report that about forty miles down the road, a state trooper pulled him over and he was caught. With his tongue out.


M said...

Oh my fucking frogs. You're the meaning in my life you're the inspiration (coincidence that happens to be on? I think not! Psychic radio understands my feelings for you. Ooh! How stalker does THAT sound?!)

That's...fabulous. Just fabulous. As are you.

CPA Mom said...

That is just so wrong on so many levels. And you totally called it on the tongue. Only in the unmarried.

MSUgal86 said...

that is too much. good call!

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

And for the time being, Interstate 40 is safe once again.

Nice job.

velocibadgergirl said...


You are my hero.