Monday, January 08, 2007

Insane stuff that only happens to me- Part One

Yesterday I was driving to work (and don't get me started on the fact that I've worked for the last...I don't know, four Sundays? Including New Years Eve? When I work Monday-Friday? Because it just makes me mad) and I was behind a woman in a large SUV. We were still in the neighborhood and I was a good four or five car lengths behind this woman.

She began to navigate a blind curve and stopped. I slowed down because I thought maybe there was a deer or dog or something in the road. Her car was at a complete stop, so I came to a complete stop too. On a blind curve.

She GOT OUT OF HER CAR and walked around to the back and opened the trunk. I sat behind her in complete disbelief. It was a BLIND CURVE. Someone could have come up behind me and killed me, and, well probably her too because the speed limit is 45 through there and most people just use that number as a suggestion, not a limit.

She finally seemed to notice me behind her and waved me around. I pulled up next to her car and rolled down my window.

She looked over at me and said, and no, I'm not kidding about this, "What?"
I said, "Do you need some help?"

I mean, because really? I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Surely no one would be so stupid that they would PARK on a BLIND CURVE unless something was really, really wrong.

She said, and again, I'm not kidding, "Do you MIND? I'm on the phone!"

I was stunned. I rolled up my window and as I was rolling it up I heard her say to whomever was on the phone, "ANYway!" as though I had somehow completely ruined her day by, GASP, asking her if she needed help.

I went around and drove on.

I got to the parkway. The parkway is mostly closed, but there is a small portion of it that is still open so you can pick up Interstate 40 (because you know I love Interstate 40). I was navigating the parkway and there was a large truck (a pick-up, not a semi or anything) towing a trailer. Apparently, he didn't know that the parkway is closed, although there are approximately 400 signs that indicate this fact all along the open portion of the parkway and big orange signs that say "DANGER" and whatnot. But anyway. He's towing a trailer and has it hooked up inappropriately. There are no lights on the trailer.

At the very last possible second, this individual in the truck cut me off to take the only available exit. Maybe he can't read, I'm not sure. But that's fine. I had anticipated him doing that and I'm certainly not going to speed because the POLICE STATION is at the top of the exit.

So we start going up the on-ramp for the exit.

And the guy in the truck? Stops the truck.

Again, I'm not so close that it's difficult for me to stop. I kind of doubt it's a deer this time, but maybe, I'm thinking, it's a disabled vehicle. So I slow my car to a complete stop. On the on-ramp. There are probably six vehicles behind me, who all slow to a complete stop as well.

The guy in the truck gets out of his vehicle and leisurely walks around the back to move a chain.

On an on-ramp.

In front of the POLICE STATION.

I'm totally not kidding.

At this point, I begin to look around, certain that I am on Candid Camera or one of those programs in which insane things occur and someone tapes you so they can make fun of your bewildered reaction later.

I didn't see a camera though.

8 comments:

Amy W said...

You are a much nicer person than me, I would have driven around that lady honking my horn the entire time!

Susan in va said...

Oh.my.word! You've got to be kidding!

I'm just glad to know there's another person in this world besides me that's always looking for the camera! LOL!

Rachel said...

LMAO! That is so funny. You know, people can just really piss you off sometimes.

Em said...

I have several things to say! LOL

First, this post made me laugh out loud! And I'm eating my lunch in my office at work..so people in the hall are starting to worry!

Second, thanks for visiting my blog! It led me to you and I'm glad it did! All your posts (well, the ones I read before I had to stop laughing) were great. I will definitely visit your place often!

Third, a CT girl in the south? Sounds like the reverse of my life. I grew up in the south...and now live in CT.

Off to see your other blog now!

That Chick Over There said...

Oh, no. I'm a Southern girl born and raised. I just happened to meet a Connecticut boy who is somewhat bewildered to be living in the South!

CPA Mom said...

To reply to your comment on my blog (since I don't have your email, hint, hint) - I fear you. All should fear you. You are woman. Hear you roar!

As you should have roared at these assclowns.

Margarita said...

You and I must live along the same stretch of I-40. I see nothing but dumbasses everyday during my commute.

velocibadgergirl said...

Jesus, dude...how did you resist calling 911 on both of those dumbasses?? "Stalled car" calls, of course ;)