Once again, Chick will dig into her in-box to bring you the finest questions the Internet has to offer. Enjoy!
You've mentioned your brother, but you never talk about him. Why?
Eh. I dunno.
We used to be close. When we were little children? We were the best of friends. We're only 18 months apart in age.
Then? I don't know.
At some point we just started making really, really, really vastly different decisions for our lives. And due to that, we just aren't as close as we used to be. I respect his right to make his own decisions, even if I don't agree with them. I expect him to respect that I choose to raise my children and live my life in a different way. It works out fine when we do see each other.
I love him and all, but we just aren't close.
Were you and Jason excited when you found out you were having twins?
Well, in 1997 when I found out I was having twins, I was two and 1/2 years away from even meeting Jason. He was probably dating the girl that his mom really wanted him to marry at that time. So, I really doubt he was excited about my pregnancy.
Also? I was excited, but really scared. My fear turned to abject terror when my husband at the time left me a few weeks later.
Why doesn't your ex-husband have a relationship with the twins?
Because he sucks butt?
I don't know! Dude! Ask him.
No wait, don't ask him. If he finds out you want to know there's the potential that he would FIND me.
I think it's very rude that you don't let your ex-husband see your children. Children need both parents you know!
No, really? What an odd policy!
Actually, according to the legal paperwork, my ex-husband has joint custody, despite the fact that he pays zero dollars and zero cents in child support and paid a total of less than $1600 the entire time he DID bother to pay, which was for less than one year. He is legally allowed to have them whenever he wants. I would even drive them six or seven hundred miles each way to see him. All he had to do was ask. Since he hasn't, you know, asked for them in over eight years, I'm fairly certain he doesn't want to see them.
Also? Those snap judgements you have going on? Keep that up. Really. It's soooooo becoming!
What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?
I would call it good. We get along and I worry about them and care about their well-being. My mom and I get along better since I moved five hundred miles away from her, I guess. But I do love her, a lot.
And my dad? He's alright for a white guy.
No! Just lying. My dad totally rocks. He's the best dad I could have ever, ever hoped for and my children could not have a better grandfather. I worry about him almost constantly since he was diagnosed with cancer last year.
You've mentioned your grandmother, but never your grandfather. Why?
I talk a lot about one grandmother, but I have three actually. My mother's mother (the one I talk about a lot), my father's mother (she doesn't really have anything to do with us) and my mother's mother's mother! I have a great grandmother! Doesn't that rock?
I don't have any grandfathers anymore, which saddens me a lot. My great-grandfather died in 1994 and it absolutely broke my heart. He was a mean, crotchety old thing, but he loved me the best. No really, he did. Then, when my twins were a couple of months old, my maternal grandfather died. That really blew also. Two years later, my paternal grandfather died. That was the first time I had ever seen my father cry and I don't think anything in my life has ever hurt me that badly.
What exactly is it that you do and where do you work?
Dude. Like I'm going to tell you THAT.
I mean, COME ON.
Some people who blog know, and that's cool. But I'm not going to freaking announce it. I really think with some of the things I talk about that people already know, without me saying. It's a really big, nationally known place.
It's like a don't ask, don't tell thing. Without the military.
I'm sorry about your secondary infertility. Thanks. Have you ever thought about adoption?
Sure! Two of my co-workers recently adopted from China and another co-worker fostered a child and is now adopting him, so it's something I think about quite a bit, actually.
Emotionally, I'm not sure I'm ready for that right now. And I know I'm not financially, because it takes a buttload and a boocoo of money to do that.
But in a few years, I'll probably revisit it. Because being a mom is really one of the only things on this planet I'm actually good at.
You are really hard on yourself.
I know this isn't actually a question, but I kind of wanted to address it, because several of my bloggy friends have mentioned this.
I am hard on myself. I used to believe it was motivating. Like, when I was in college? It's hard enough to be in college and have two kids and a husband and a puppy and a full-time job. But I had to push it further. I had to get straight A's. I had to start a Girl Scout troop. I had to start this blog. I had to do everything. I felt compelled. I felt like there was no options, no choices. I had to do it.
Why? I dunno. To prove something? I guess? To myself. Because no one else gave a crap.
I think being left by my first husband affected me profoundly, and I just didn't deal with it. I failed at marriage, I failed at my first pregnancy, I failed at my second pregnancy (miscarriage), and now I've failed at...well, fertility in general. So I had to succeed at something. And first that something was school. Now it's work. It's this blog. It's, well, everything else in my life.
Man, this is to deep for Saturday morning. What the crap?
You talk about God a lot, but you use curse words and get really angry. Do you think you are a good example of a Christian?
Hell yeah I do! And I think God and Jesus think I kick butt and take names.
Because, seriously? Who said Christians are perfect? Or even have to try to be?
Nobody tell me if the Bible really, actually says that. Okay? I'd be mondo embarrassed.
I love God. I'm not ashamed to tell people that. Some people think I'm a flake because I think that way. That's cool. That's their right. But I still think this way. I'm still going to think this way and what they think won't stop me from thinking this way.
I'm not going to shove it down anyone's throat. But God and I are peeps.
Are you really writing a book?
I am. I don't know if it will ever be published or if anyone will ever read it, but I am. If it does get published, I'll be a total attention whore about it, so I promise you will know.
That's all for today! Thanks for writing!
If you have a question for me, feel free to write me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
I can't promise I'll be quick about answering though.