Jason is away on a business trip this week (it's in Florida! LUCKY!) and thus, the children and I have been...well, having lots of fun and not being responsible whatsoever.
In thinking about his being away, I have determined that the following are the best reasons to have a husband go on a business trip:
1) I can go pee in the middle of the night and not shut the bathroom door.
2) No one is snoring and I've slept better than I have in years.
3) We can eat Mexican food.
4) We can eat in front of the television.
5) Watching South Park.
6) There are no knees or elbows in my various orifices while I am trying to sleep.
7) No one is calling four billion times a day. (His employees call for stupid crap constantly when he's here)
8) I can take approximately eleven hundred photographs of myself like this:
Without having to hear, "What are you DOING in there?"
9) I get to call up all my chums and say things like, "And I'd like to knock the taste out of her mouth!" without anyone rolling their eyes at my, um, colorful use of the English language.
10) I can get dressed in the morning with the lights on, instead of creeping around in the dark trying not to wake someone who doesn't have to be at work until 9 freaking a.m. (LUCKY!)
Disadvantages of him not being here include:
1) There was a really big hairy spider on the wall in the bathroom yesterday and I had to squish it myself. I don't really mind doing that, but if he were here, I could ask him to squish it and then he would have felt very proud of himself.
2) The dishwasher is not working properly. I have no confidence that he could fix it, but I would have someone to complain to.
3) I would probably be motivated to cook an actual dinner instead of picking up something.
4) We've been anticipating the season finales of Scrubs and The Office all year and I had to watch them by myself. If you didn't see them, The Office ROCKED. I was grinning like a fool at the end. And Scrubs, well, I wish they would have given us more to go on! But, whatever.
5) Boy Child had a lot of math homework this week. Really, I suck at math, but I pretend to be confident while the children are around. Jason is good at math.
6) I have a lot of really heavy stuff that needs to be put in the car. I could have used a hand with that.
7) It's kind of hard to fall asleep now, without someone's knee in my buttcrack. Since I'm used to it, and all.
8) The children miss him.
9) The puppy misses him.
10) I miss him.
*Total lie. It's the hardest job ever.