My good friend BadgerGirl over at Pardon the Egg Salad tagged me for this meme. She rocks!
Here are the rules: Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. Write a post about your own random things. Post these rules. At the end of your blog, tag 8 people and post their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment and tell them they're tagged.
1. I wonder all the time if I should hang it up at my job. I really want to be good at what I do. I really want to be as smart as the people I work with. But the vast majority of the time, I feel like a total fraud. I think I am smart in ways that they perhaps aren’t. Like, I’m pretty smart about people. Sometimes. But I’m not smart about things like nuclear reactors. Ever. I know it’s not my good looks that are getting me anywhere here so I’m left to wonder why they actually let me continue to work here.
2. My husband doesn’t really think I’m as funny as I think I am. This disturbs me greatly.
I don’t think he thinks I’m unfunny or anything. It’s just, sometimes I say something that is really freakin’ hilarious and he just looks at me and smiles. It’s wasn’t smile funny! It was laugh out loud clutch your stomach funny! I don’t mean to be a hair-splitter, but really. I say to him all the time, “You just don’t even deserve my hilarity!” to which he responds, “But I SMILED!”
3. I really want to love coffee but I don’t. I like the way it smells but I can’t stand the way it tastes. Thus, I am the only person in America who has never been to Starbucks.
4. While I appear to be extremely organized, organization is something I have to completely fight with myself about every single day. My true nature is to be a completely unorganized lazy slob. When I had my twins and you know, no husband around to help or anything, I quickly determined that being an unorganized lazy slob would not fly with my new lifestyle.
Around that time, I moved to North Carolina and I took a low-level, low-paying job (because it’s the only job I was qualified for, at the time, and certainly the only job I could get, because believe me, I tried). I decided that I would look up to the people above me and see what they did and I would try to copy it, and that, my friends is when my obsession for all things Franklin Covey was born. I purchased a green, classic size day planner. With a zipper! And every morning, to this day, the first fifteen minutes of my day are planned out in my day planner.
Except the one I have now? It’s a really pretty burgundy leather. With a snap!
And now? Most people I work with don’t have a planner. My boss calls my planner, “Your little calendar book” as in, “Mark this down in your little calendar book, Chickie.”
Also? I think that’s hilarious because I’m her employee and I constantly say things to her like, “Boss, did you forget to call the Red Cross again? Because these operators can’t train themselves on CPR!” and she says some curse word and then picks up the phone and then gets distracted by something shiny on Gymboree.com and STILL forgets to call.
It’s actually really funny.
Anyway, my point is that I’m not naturally organized. Clearly my thoughts are not naturally organized either, as I am prone to tangents such as the one I just went off into.
5. I used to have an eating disorder. For many years I was bulimic. The first time I made myself throw up, I was nine years old.
My daughter is nine years old and it scares the complete crap out of me that she will have a negative self-image like I did.
6. I often feel like no one on this planet understands how I feel, especially about the topics of my ex-husband leaving me while I was pregnant and my inability to get pregnant now. I feel like I have this huge hole in my heart and it will never, ever go away. I don’t think about it all the time, and I try not to dwell on it but it just aches. Sometimes, it really, really aches. I’ve tried talking to a few people about it, even a therapist, and the general response was, “Well, you should be grateful for the children you have.”
I mean, I am. Obviously, I think they are the absolute shiznit, which is why I want to have another one of them. If I thought they sucked butt I surely wouldn’t be interested in signing up for that again.
I am profoundly grateful for those short individuals who live with me. Ridiculously so.
I just wish I could talk to someone who would say, “I totally understand how it feels to be left behind and scared and alone. I know what you are feeling and I know how painful it is and I’m so sorry. I know how it feels to think you’re going to be able to fix it and never be able to fix it. I wish I could help you fix it.”
Not that I would wish that pain on anyone. But still.
7. In the place I used to live, I was discriminated against because I was white.
I know that sounds insane, and some people get upset when I talk about this, but I was.
8. I have only intimidated one person in my entire life and I actually kind of liked it.
I’m probably the least intimidating person on this planet. I like pretty much everyone or can at least find some redeeming quality in them and I have the tendency to do things like shout, “SPIRIT FINGERS!! WOO!” at the end of really good meetings.
But this one time? Jason had a friend who invited us to go to his church with him and we went and it was the darndest thing. It was held in a big warehouse and everyone was wearing shorts and they had a live band and the band was really, really loud and the lesson plan was, “I’m too sexy!” and they played that song, you know, by Right Said Fred?
It was crazy good fun.
But Jason and I didn’t really know it was going to be like that, so we were dressed in what we consider “church clothes”. Chinos and a polo for Jason and a skirt and blouse for me. You know, just normal stuff.
So the friend’s wife? She was wearing shorts that were not flattering and her hair, while very nice, wasn’t nearly as pretty as mine and she looked at me and sort of ducked her head and acted like I was the freaking Queen of England.
It. Was. Awesome.
I’m such a tool for thinking that way, I’m certain, but I loved it! I never had any desire to intimidate anyone, but that one time? I felt pretty cool.
I’m not doing it.
Sorry, I’m not tagging anyone. Every time I do someone ends up with hurt feelings and that is the last thing I want. So, I’ll just say anyone who reads this and wants to do the meme, please have at it. And leave me a comment to let me know so I can read yours, okay?