Thursday, May 10, 2007

Good to know.

Jason gleefully informed me last night that due to my copious consumption of fiber, as of late, I've been "extremely gassy" in my sleep.

This is significant because he has never, ever, heard me fart on purpose.

Before we got married, we drafted a "prenuptial agreement".

I agreed to not get a buzz cut or ever start farting and/or burping in front of him on purpose.

I forget what he agreed to. I'm assuming he's already broken it by now, because it was probably something like, "I agree to hang my clothing in the actual closet instead of on the closet door."

For the love of God.

Anyway. That's what marriage is after a few years, I suppose.

In other, less flatulent news, I'm really going to try to start updating my weight-loss blog more. It's looking kind of sad and pathetic. I had been only updating when I walk, and since I suck, it's not been updated much. I'm going to try to write about my own personal feelings on weight loss and other exciting topics. Because, clearly, I have a lot to say about, well, everything. But especially that.

Oh, and it's only...164 days until we go to Disney World. In case you were wondering!

22 comments:

Brown Eyed Girl said...

You've been farting in your sleep..

Dude if that's the worst thing you do in your marriage...Jason should consider himself..DAMN lucky.

For the love of God.

:)

frannie said...

so,only 164 days until you stop by for a visit, right???

Silly Hily said...

Have you ever farted so loud that it woke you up from your sleep? Not that I have...um...ever done that (cough, cough). Just wondering.
I'm totally jealous of your Disney World vacation.
Also, Mother of Ass? Can I please borrow that phrase from you from time to time? It rocks and mad me snort.

CPA Mom said...

164 days? I didn't know you were going to Disney. I wish I was. What bloggers near by will you look up?

Farting in your sleep - it's like snoring - everyone does it, if they admit or not.

Stephanie said...

Hmmm... perhaps a beano before bed? I jest. It can't be that bad or he would have made you roll over or something. Farting is like snoring right? If you roll them over they'll stop? No?

P.S. If I give you my address, will you send a postcard from WDW? I collect them.

Rachel said...

I think the only time my husband has ever heard me fart, was right after Alyssa was born. I had a c-section and when all your insides and shit are trying to move back to where they were before they pulled a baby out of you, gas is what happens and is supposed to happen.

At least Jason hangs his clothes on something. I'm not sure Chris knows what a hanger is.

Emma in Canada said...

William is very good about all things on the gassy front.

On the hanging things up in the closet? Not so much. However, he totally rocks at breaking hangers when he pulls his clothes off of them.

Catwoman said...

So jealous of your trip! If I promise to lose weight, will you take me in your suitcase?

And considering I have trouble holding in my farts during the day, I'm sure I really let loose in my sleep. Little Man farts a ton in his sleep and it never fails to crack up the ten-year old boy in me!

Kimberly said...

So with you on the tootiness. Whenever I get "back on the wagon" and starting eating healthy again, my poor colon takes the brunt of it. I know you're supposed to add fibre gradually to prevent this, but I'd rather be gassy and be getting rid of the extra guck, y'know?

So toot away!

Christy said...

Farting? In your sleep? Yeah - you totally need to quit that. Right after you stop dreaming about cheesecake and get that whole "the sky is blue" thing under control.
Sheesh. I mean, I'd never purposely let one rip just while we're watching "House" or whatever, but gas happens. So funny.

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

Is there any way at all that you can blame flatulance on the dog? I totally would.

Tonya said...

Farting in bed eh? Geez good thing when my hubby's head hits the pillow he is asleep or he would have tons to day about me.. lol

Amy W said...

Totally going to be there at the same time...

Farting? I don't Fart...

Stephanette said...

Ummm...my husband kept begging me to fart. He thought it was the ultimate trust thing. I guess it's that ten year old boy thing. I keep telling him when we have kids things have to change and he just laughs and laughs.

Now the in your sleep thing - exactly HOW are you supposed to control that?

Making my way in PA said...

Sometimes, I think my husband has blown a hole in his pants his gas is so loud. He doesn't believe that I fart, since I don't feel the need to clear the room with my noise and stench. I would be uber embaressed if he ever actually heard it or smelt it. I have blamed it on the dog before. :(

Kellie said...

You're killing me...freakin' KILLING ME!! :)

Jocelyn said...

Part of my vows to my husband was that we both can fart around each other with ease--that's part of being particularly special to each other--doing those things around each other that we restrain for the rest of the world.

I look forward to your next 163 anticipatory posts.

Margarita said...

YOU FART!? THA HORROR!!!!
Puh-lease. Justin is DAMN LUCKY that I give him warning first.


Sometimes.
BWAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

SJ said...

Farting is a way of life in the Jones' household. Dad does it, the kids do it (and laugh their butts off)and GULP, even Mom does it from time to time. Oh and so do the dogs.

It's like pooping. Everybody Farts.

BS said...

Hey, at least you take care of it (even if involuntary) before you sit down to eat breakfast !! Tell Jason to give you a break ...

Angie said...

Hee hee. . .I think sometimes when my hubby lets one slip in the middle of the night, I still hear him mutter, "Excuse me."

Now, that's love.

my4kids said...

Fortunatly Kelly doesn't notice much of what I may do in my sleep he sleeps like a log and wouldn't notice if WW3 was going on so farting would never get noticed. I'm jealous about disney by the way!