You know it’s a bad day when:
1)There are twelve emails in your inbox all inviting you to enlarge your penis.
2)You scream at a manager (not your manager, thank God) something (exactly) like, “I just want to do my *#$#@% work!”
3)The curse word you yelled was the f-word. Um. Oops.
4)Despite saying the f-word, you don’t get fired. Because you work in such an insane organization that it’s sadly common to shriek the f-word at your co-workers.
5)You burn your entire bag of microwave popcorn that you intended to eat for lunch, because apparently the microwave in the conference room is radioactive or some crap.
6)Everyone walks up and down the hall saying, “Who burned popcorn?” “Did somebody burn popcorn?” “I smell burned popcorn!”
7)You stick your head out of the office door and yell, like a fishwife, “I was the one who burned the popcorn! It was my freaking lunch and I really wanted it!”
8)The insurance company informs you that the person who hit you on Thursday didn’t turn in the claim.
9)You’ve found out, for 100% certain, that someone you really thought was a close friend told you the biggest lie you can imagine, and now you don’t know how to proceed.
10)The biggest news on CNN and the Fox News network and CNBC is that Paris Hilton got out of jail.
11)You find out your blog is rated R because you say ass a lot. Asstastic.
12)You find out that someone else has a blog called, “I kick ass for the Lord!” and then you’re upset because you didn’t think of such a cool blog name.
13)You really need to go to the grocery store after work and you really don’t want to go to the grocery store after work because you are tired, mentally drained, and hate most people, especially people who jam you up in the “Personal Care” aisle, by standing DIRECTLY in front of the tampons to carry on a conversation with their pastor about how the sweet corn isn't coming very good this year.
14)You check the mirror and you’re still fat as hell, despite the fact that you had no lunch because you burned all your popcorn.
15)Someone else thought up the word Chillax, a combination of “Chill” and “Relax” and so you can’t even take credit for that one.
16)You throw your office door open and firmly whack someone you actually like who happened to be standing in front of it.
17)It wasn’t someone you don’t like.
18)You have to write a training module about something you have absolutely no knowledge of, no experience with, and aren’t even sure you are spelling correctly.
19)It actually has to be good.
20)It’s not so much good as it is extremely bad.
21)You are in the middle of a meeting and your cell phone rings.
22)The song playing is, “White and Nerdy” by Weird Al.
23)Everyone looks at you funny.
24)hen you say, “I’m going to see Weird Al in concert in August!” as you turn your phone off.
25)Sadly, this doesn’t win you any friends.
Also? I'm so sorry. I'm way behind on reading and responding to everything. I've been given some cool awards and meme's and whatnot and I'm so far behind on everything I've not appropriately claimed them. I'm working on getting caught up.
And thanks. Really,