Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Mom's are not funny.

Have you heard? We aren’t.

Once you give birth, you are no longer funny. Something comes out in the placenta or whatever and you just totally lose you ability to talk about anything except for poopy diapers and underwear and, in my case, how many curse words your children manage to pick up from you on a daily basis.

But none of that is funny.

The fact that we have lives aside from our children and do things like work and meet hilarious people and have marriages and/or boyfriends and, hell I don’t know, opinions? None of that matters. Not one bit of it. Because if you have a kid, you aren’t funny.

Oh, occasionally the kid will do something cutesy and we can all get a little chuckle out of that. But real, honest to God, laugh out loud funny stuff? Nope. Not us.

God forbid you do something like have a blog and put a picture of your kid on it. Because that’s not funny! You can’t be a MOMMY BLOGGER and be funny! You are either a mommy or you are funny! Not both!

Never mind if you almost never talk about your kids on your blog. That doesn’t matter. Their mere existence qualifies you as a mommy blogger and therefore YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.

Never mind if you've spent the last ten or so years of your life trying to make an actual life for yourself and have busted your ass in doing so and, gasp, have done it even though you have children. Never mind that you don't define your entire life by your kids and what they do (even if they are damn funny...oh, no wait! They aren't! Kids aren't funny either!). None of that matters.

Once you've had kids it's all over. Hang it up. You are Michael Richards at the Apollo.

You aren't funny.

Don’t even try to pretend you are. The real funny people won’t stand for it.

18 comments:

nailgirl said...

I think that you have been misinformed chick, because me.......... I am laugh out loud hysterical. I crack myself and others around me up on a daily basis and I am a mom.

Catwoman said...

I'm guessing you've read my blog? :)

Yeah, I was pretty irritated by the reviewers calling me a Mommy Blog, which disqualifies me from being a Funny Blog too.

And you, girlfriend, definitely prove that if any mom is funny, you are our queen of funny.

M said...

I literally LOL assuming that you read catwoman's blog (which had me with pitchfork in hand to stab the "reviewers")

I hate how "Mommyblog" is such an evil evil thing. And how mommy humor isnt REAL humor.

Ever notice the "humor" blogs have very little of the author's actual life and real essence in them? Because, newsflash, life just isn't always funny. It's not. Sometimes it sucks rotten eggs.

And sometimes? A cute kid pic takes that allllllll away.

But yeah. I bet zillions you qualify as 'funny' and not 'mommy'. Though I wish you'd mommify yourself more because pics of your kidfolk make me swoon.

xoxo, m

Rachel said...

I was figuring you had read Catwoman's blog too!!

I wish all these Mommy bloggers would stop trying to be funny.

GAH!

Adventures in Baby Fat said...

People are freakin' idiots. What circles do these people travel in that they think that mothers -- MOTHERS (the new DIRTY WORD to the "in" crowd) -- are not funny?

Why is talking about your kids bad? It's not like most mommy bloggers are slathering their posts with baby talk and pictures of poopie diapers. "Does my reader-eader wikey to see some picture-wictures of my baby-waby?"

And what's with all these poopie diaper references we hear? RARELY do I read about poopie diapers.

Being a mom and enjoying being a mom means you lack in substance? Why is this so wrong? We should be praised for being interested in our children, for attempting to raise them the right way, to love them, to do the right thing. Instead, we hear things that are meant to shame us in some way. "Mommy Blogger" has such a negative connotation and brings to mind that you have nothing to offer but being a mother. Well, that's wrong. I'M A FREAKIN' MOMMY BLOGGER AND I AM NOT ASHAMED, DAMNIT!!

And from this mommy blogger to all the foes out there? Shove your no-good, senseless, baseless opinion up your uptight arse.

Kellie said...

I'm gonna say you read Catwoman's post and have been told you aren't funny, either?

Whoever reviews these blogs and claims peeps like you and Catwoman are NOT funny? Yeah, they clearly have sticks shoved somewhere. Seriously.

You. Crack. Me. UP! DAILY!!

~JJ! said...

Seriously.

I am fighting with this is my head as I type...

What the fark happened to me? I am not funny anymore!

I used to be silly and goofy and always joking around. Now. I'm terribly serious and dare I say...boring.

I hate it.

I'm trying to find out why I feel so down and this is it...

frannie said...

what did someone say to you???

this is ridiculous!!! an outrage!

my4kids said...

Who cares what those people think, Chick! We love you and I don't think of you as a mommy blogger but a funny blogger who happens to be a mommy.

Diesel said...

Also, not bitter.

SJ said...

Hmmm, I find you very funny. Something must have happened to the Earth's tilt...

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Well, my goodness.
Let's pitch a fit and hang somebody!

I don't know what that is all about but I think you are absolutely hilarious!
I've been refered to as a real "mother", and i am a blogger.
Does that make me a mommy blogger, too?

I just finished doing a play for the local community theater. I got twenty good to great reviews and one bad one.

You know better than to listen to stupid people. But that one bad review still hurts. I know. I try not to think about that one.

Go love on your kids and have a great night.

Blessings.

Amira said...

Obviously someone who does NOT have kids must be making the "excellent" delineation between "mommy" and "funny". Because, if they were a mommy, they would know that you cannot BE one without a sense of humor in order to survive.

Now, about those "Partial Lobotomy That Comes With Giving Birth" blogs...

CPA Mom said...

Does this have to do with that review over on Catwoman's blog? Because that my friend, was a bunch of crap. You two both ROCK the humor blog. Ass hats.

Sarcastic Housewife said...

Kids just don't get sharp wit and humor. They think you are just embarrassing.

Jhianna said...

They need to take the stick out from whence it is currently residing, that's all I'm sayin.

Bah on them for not taking time to actually look at you and Catwoman both - instead of just jumping to some lame conclusion. You guys are both my kind of funny: spiced with real life and heartbreak and love.

EE said...

Who the heck is Catwoman????
I think you are absolutely hilarious...even if you are a lowly mommy;)

Kimberly said...

I hate trying to categorize my blog. Like on those stupid blog directories, where you have to pick just one? I wouldn't say I've got a humour blog, and I'm so not a "mommy blogger" (not too often, anyway). So what the heck am I?

Don't know what set you off, but I think I maybe kinda sorta half understand.

I't a "Me Blog", gosh demmit!