So yesterday? When I was at a local store getting twelve tons of candy for the Open House tonight? The cashier said:
“Your little boy looks like he’s one of them Chinamen.”
No. I’m not kidding.
And seriously? Who even SAYS things like that anymore? What the hell?
I cannot imagine how my face looked, but she quickly went on:
“I kept lookin’ and lookin’ at him and I just wasn’t sure, but now I see that his eyes aren’t all slanty.”
I said nothing. What could I say to that? “You’re an ignorant redneck”?
So apparently my face betrayed me because she quickly said, “Not that there’s anything WRONG with that!”
And I finally said, “Um, no. There would be nothing wrong with that.”
She said, “Even though YOU aren’t Chinese.”
I swear to God, I looked around slowly, just in case we had somehow been transported back to 1955 and no one bothered to tell me. I wanted to make sure because I wasn’t wearing my starched dress and kitten heels and I had, you know, driven myself to the store and paid for my purchases with my own money and I didn’t want to get in trouble.
I just looked at her and took my bags. I think I gave her quite the withering glare, but I’m not sure it made any difference.
I got in the car and thought about my friend who adopted a baby from China and how a girl at the pediatrician’s office asked her if her baby was flexible because of those Chinese Acrobats she’d “seen down there in Pigeon Forge”. She thought it was hilarious. I was somewhat horrified.
I thought about the things that I should have said, which include the aforementioned, “You’re an ignorant redneck” and possibly, “Jane you ignorant slut” and “You really need to wax your upper lip” thrown in for good measure.
Then I thought, “Man, I’d like to move to a place where people aren’t quite so backward. That woman just did not turn out.”
Then, I laughed at myself for thinking the phrase, “didn’t turn out”. Because, that’s pretty decidedly country, I think.
That’s so messed up.